I am on a mission.
I want to live in radical obedience to God. To live the not so nice, clean-plated, all is orderly faith. Saying yes to human impossible missions. Doing that which is beyond me, but trusting God when I know He called me to it.
In my life, I feel like I have short-changed God a lot! Out of fear, low self-esteem (you can call that pride), insecurities, lousy excuses and distrust...I have truly been disobedient. Missing out on so many wonderful heavenly assignments.
Saying no instead of yes. No, I won't sing in the worship group. No, I don't feel like telling that person about you. No, I don't want to do that or it won't work. No way!
God chose Moses to speak to Pharaoh, Jonah to warn Nineveh, David to slay a Giant and become a King, Jesus chose 12 disciples specifically, and God chose Paul to preach to the world in chains.
My mission might be scary, hard, but I am tired of running. Tired of fear holding me back from serving Yahweh Nissi (yah-WEH nis-SEE) or The Lord My Banner.
The victory has already been won. The Father will not abandon me in the undertaking He has asked of me.
My humanness is squirming but, then I remember:
"We need not fear what our obedience will cause in our life. We should only fear what our disobedience will cause us to miss."
-From What Hapens When Women Say Yes to God