"Yes, we are, but..."
"You can't shelter your kids too much, we all have to face the world at some point."
When do you know the line between sheltering or exposing too much? Who wrote the rules that said I need to throw my kids to the wolves/the world if I want them to grow up healthy, normal, socialized and so they won't resent me later or run away screaming at the age of 18?
I home school my kids. I am that mom, but this is not a post to convince you to do it and I am not going to whine about my rights.
It is just lately, I have felt uneasy. Not because I am second guessing that God called me to do this for my children at the moment, but because my feathers have been ruffled, so to speak (see conversation above). I don't shy away completely from opposing thoughts. However, my mind gets pinched with doubt. I am great at doubting myself which is why I have to be really intentional at getting hard tasks, etc. accomplished. Since this person challenged me, my thoughts have lingered to questioning if it is less about home schooling versus public school (and it is) and more about fear.
See, I want to be somewhere between sheltering and exposing...balancing...That. Can. Wait. You will learn it soon enough coupled with what do you do when? If ? Can my children be polite, but powerful when they need to stand up for themselves or others?
Yet, my greatest desire is the opportunity to preserve the child in my children a bit longer more than seeing how they do when they fall.
Roll your eyes, but
it comes from the fact that before the age of 8, I was super-overexposed to
sex, adult content, very disturbing/scary images and movies. I was abused by family members and friends of my family and I was blamed! Yes, you read that right.
Perhaps, I am only fueled by fear. Sure, I won't deny it. Yes, I am sometimes guilty of being over-protective. Yet, I know I need to loosen the reigns each year as they grow from little boys, to big boys to young men. Both of my sons need to fail, they need to problem solve on their own and think for themselves. They need to be challenged and tempted.
I know it is a trust issue. I was so mistreated that I fear the breaking of
their hearts and the aftermath that comes with it. How it destroys innocence and trust.
I need to trust God with them...with me...knowing he gave them to me...He chose me to be their mom and no matter how I may fail them, he will redeem it. His plans and purposes for them will not be thwarted.
Happily linking up here today for some authentic sister hood: