Saturday, August 14, 2010

What Grace Means to Me Part II

Grace is so undeserved and sometimes so is mercy! I have received both many times in my life. I am happy to say that one friend of mine REALLY showed me mercy and I was sad that so many other people tried to fix it with platitudes, wishful thinking and false comments of hope(unfortunately, I have been down this road before).
I am sure they meant well and now it is my turn to show them mercy. My one friend showed me more mercy than I have probably ever received in a lifetime by validating my hurt, hurting with me and she even said, "I am hurting for you!" Sometimes we just need someone to listen.
Some of you have recently read on my Face book page that Chris and I are in sort of a weird, uncomfortable job/money situation. No, not debt because we paid that off a few years okay, but no job for Chris after he just finished a teaching program to become certified to teach. Also, I only work 60% so a little more than half time as a teacher but, this is not enough money to live off of despite no debt.
My point is that WE RECEIVED GRACE and Well, our tax refund combined with my income and what is left of our savings will allow us live with a tiny and I mean tiny bit of wiggle room FOR AT LEAST 8 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!! This is if Chris doesn't get a job and I stay the same in my job status.
I can't believe how the Lord works! I would not have thought that this is how it would be (presently), but I am so thankful for serving a faithful and loving God. I never stopped being faithful to Him or trusting Him, I just struggled at times with both. I was disappointed, confused, and I hurt for Chris. Trusting God in the hardest trials of life is just, well--plain HARD. Grace is the mercy He provides during this time.
May we ALL learn to act like God when others are hurting...I know I have room for improvement.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Each peck hurts...Part 1

Lately--I feel a little picked on--like someone has it in for me. Okay, I am exaggerating but sometimes life feels that way. As if some evil, twirp bird thinks I am birdseed and is pecking on me one by one to get its fill. It all seemed to really start the day after my second son was born. No, I am not blaming him at all! It just seems that the pecking started then.
First, my son was born with a tight tongue and NO one listened to me when I said it was affecting his eating. Then, my hubby got the stomach bug during the week he took off to be with his newborn son!! He was quarantined for 4 days and only could see his new son from a huge distance. Three weeks later, my newborn son got RSV (short for nasty, respiratory virus that can kill children under 1!!) and my poor son was sent to the PED floor for four days, underwent a spinal tap and other poking and prodding at the age of 3 weeks! At this point--we were having trouble nursing and still no one would clip his tongue.
My son was VERY fussy and it was not until about 2 and 1/2 months that someone finally listened and clipped his tongue and found out that he had REALLY bad acid reflux minus major spitting up--thank the Lord (I don't do well with projectile anything!). My husband and I lost TONS of sanity and sleep and didn't even go to church or see really anyone during that time. It was hard going back to work, but I had to.
Next, top all of that off with the fact that my son didn't sleep through the night until about 4 and 1/2 months, the acid reflux wasn't really under control until then, he sometimes refused to eat, was at 25% for weight, did I mention fussy? and we couldn't even go out to Target without it being a huge ordeal. Needless to say that by the end of the school year we had it mostly under control and could finally breathe.
I have to hubby and I were really wondering why our prayers and others prayers were heard but met with a resounding "Nope" on God's part. We didn't understand why God would not heal our son.
What we did understand though is that God was still there. We felt His presence, love and mercy. We somehow made it through all of that with supernatural strength and we were never really alone. We understand now that the Lord is still LORD even when the circumstances aren't in our favor.Very often, God is beyond our human comprehension and that is not easy to accept. No, we don't know why God allowed all of it really--except that we are stronger in our faith (we remained faithful) and we learned the above...and that even though the pecking hasn't stopped totally--We still love and trust the Lord Jesus-period.

Monday, June 7, 2010

What grace means to me...Part 1

The idea of grace has always baffled me even with a simple definition. I don't think you can fully understand grace until you have experienced it. I am not talking about when we as humans give each other grace. I am speaking about God's grace-Charis (Greek) for free, undeserved or unearned! Not only did God give grace to many in the bible but He still gives us grace today.

David slept with a married woman, got her husband killed in battle to cover it up, took a census of Israel (this was a sin against God), attempted to move the Ark on his own without God's leading and even after ALL of that disobedience or sin, David confessed and God gave huge grace (and forgiveness. How? Well,David's son, Solomon became the next King over Israel (David's family line is direct to Jesus himself)WOW, talk about grace! David was in charge of preparing and planning the materials that would be used to build God's Temple and 1 Chron. 29 says,"He died at a ripe old age, having enjoyed a long life, wealth, and honor.

David never stopped loving the Lord and the Lord never stopped loving David. Grace is also God's love, but I still cannot comprehend fully God's grace even though I understand it.

I also see God's grace like compassion/understanding because He knows we are gonna sin and He knows we are going to need His grace to get through the consequences of that bad choice we made. God may have allowed David to experience the consequences of his actions (David's affair cost him one of his son's lives and his household was in turmoil a lot, also not asking God how to move the Ark properly cost Uzzah's his life), but God NEVER withheld his forgiveness, love or grace!! He never abandoned David for one minute.

I am guilty of believing even now occasionally that God will not be able to stand me after what I just did...that somehow this will be the sin that will end any grace but I know that is a lie. I know someone who always thinks that every time they make a bad choice that God will do something to them (that is punishment) and actually not all sin gets an obvious consequence.

When I wasn't following God (even though I was a christian), when I was doing relationships with men my way, I did not receive God's blessings and many of those relationships were unhealthy. I did feel God's protection and I did see God's grace because he chose to still give me my hubby, Chris and helped me to realize that I needed to rely on Christ not men to make me whole and happy.

Well, that is a little bit of what grace means to me...What about you?
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