Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Somewhere between Sheltering and Exposing

"Aren't we supposed to be in the world...just not of it?"
"Yes, we are, but..."
"You can't shelter your kids too much, we all have to face the world at some point."
"True. but..."

When do you know the line between sheltering or exposing too much? Who wrote the rules that said I need to throw my kids to the wolves/the world if I want them to grow up healthy, normal, socialized and so they won't resent me later or run away screaming at the age of 18?

 I home school my kids. I am that mom, but this is not a post to convince you to do it and I am not going to whine about my rights.

It is just lately, I have felt uneasy. Not because I am second guessing that God called me to do this for my children at the moment, but because my feathers have been ruffled, so to speak (see conversation above). I don't shy away completely from opposing thoughts. However, my mind gets pinched with doubt. I am great at doubting myself which is why I have to be really intentional at getting hard tasks, etc. accomplished. Since this person challenged me, my thoughts have lingered to questioning if it is less about home schooling versus public school (and it is) and more about fear.

See, I want to be somewhere between sheltering and exposing...balancing...That. Can. Wait. You will learn it soon enough coupled with what do you do when? If ? Can my children be polite, but powerful when they need to stand up for themselves or others?
Yet, my greatest desire is the opportunity to preserve the child in my children a bit longer more than seeing how they do when they fall.
 Roll your eyes, but 
it comes from the fact that before the age of 8, I was super-overexposed to  
sex, adult content, very disturbing/scary images and movies. I was abused by family members and friends of my family and I was blamed! Yes, you read that right.

Perhaps, I am only fueled by fear. Sure, I won't deny it. Yes, I am sometimes guilty of being over-protective. Yet, I know I need to loosen the reigns each year as they grow from little boys, to big boys to young men. Both of my sons need to fail, they need to problem solve on their own and think for themselves. They need to be challenged and tempted.
I know it is a trust issue. I was so mistreated that I fear the breaking of 
their hearts and the aftermath that comes with it. How it destroys innocence and trust. 

I need to trust God with them...with me...knowing he gave them to me...He chose me to be their mom and no matter how I may fail them, he will redeem it. His plans and purposes for them will not be thwarted.

Happily linking up here today for some authentic sister hood:


  1. Oh, bless you for sharing this, Dionne! I'm so sorry you had to deal with such abuse... but of course that background informs you in your parenting choices. You see the danger some of us more naive ones might not realize.

  2. That is a fine line that we each have to find for ourselves and our families--no one else can choose for us and I'm glad you're standing your ground on it with your own kids. Trusting God with it is the best thing we can do--his plans and ways can overcome any mistakes we make along the way, but he will honor our intentions! Thanks for the encouragement, Dionne.

  3. You never know the heart behind why people say what they do. For all you know, they are just convincing themselves of their own opinion. I agree with Janice - we all make choices based on our experiences. Even though my kids go to public school, I still try to find the balance between sheltering and exposing. Our internet is way locked down because of my husband's experience, but we also talk a lot about what is appropriate and what is not and why. We give a lot of reasons for our rules, etc. It's a hard balance, but all we can do is seek the Lord and do the best we can! So grateful you shared your heart in this!


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