Sunday, November 6, 2011

One-sided perspective of self

I sat next to a new, woman friend and listened to her shocked comment, "Oh god" as another woman introduced her two-week old son. The woman looked like she didn't even have a kid. No, she was not model thin, but there was little evidence of a recent pregnancy.
My heart saddened a bit as I realized I was thinking what my friend said. Women are just guilty of comparing our looks, weight, or other outer appearance against the ladies we encounter. I wonder if we feel threatened?
Why do we do this ourselves and to others? Well, I am certainly no expert, but I will share my heart and thoughts.

I have been ridiculed from the time I left my mother's womb. I was consistently criticized as a child. Whether it was my posture, or my too sensitive nature something was always off. Or the other side was being ignored or made fun of...How can one have good self-esteem or worth when fighting those behaviors?

Maybe you didn't experience this at all or much as a child. Maybe yours has to do with men? Ya know, I don't think men realize how much we struggle to get them to notice us. Even if that is just for your hubby...we all like to feel attractive don't we? Doesn't that make us feel a bit valued? C'mon, I am being honest here. Feeling unattractive is not on most people's priority list.

So if that is not it...tell me what is? Why do we compare? Why do we all in our own way execute some sort of beauty ritual to look good?
Think diet, exercise, starving self, expensive haircuts, highlights, dyes, lots of tweezing, shaving tender spots (ouch), perfumes, make-up and manicures.

Hopefully at least a small part of ourselves does something for our bodies for hygiene and health.

I know that I exercise for energy not just weight management.

I will freely admit on here that I struggle with my appearance. I don't see myself the way others do. I have a one-sided perspective of self.

Can this part of me be changed? I am not sure that enough compliments would do the trick. Other people can never criticize me again or say I am perfect and that wouldn't stop my twisted belief of myself. I wouldn't believe them anyway. Ya know why? Because what needs to change is my heart and my thoughts in my head.

I need to take responsibility for what I say to myself and what I believe about me. So one thing I am doing is a bible study called, Me, Myself and Lies by Jennifer Rothschild. It is helping. I am learning to replace my thoughts about me with God's thoughts. What He says about me is true. I just have to believe it. I am committed to this because I am too hard on myself.

I need a God-sided perspective of me.

Anyone else struggling with this?


  1. Oh boy ... this resonates with me deeply. I like that idea of a God-sided perspective of me. This post also validates that I'm not alone in feeling this way, even if it's not healthy ... it's still "not just me". Thanks for sharing your heart!

  2. It's hard - God tells us that the heart matters the most. That man judges by outward appearances, but HE judges the heart.

    Still, because we live in the world and are sinful humans - we are not blind to the advantages of attractiveness.

    It's a fine line between expressing how we feel inside outwardly and allowing our image to dictate how we feel about ourselves.


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