Somewhere between Sheltering and Exposing

"Aren't we supposed to be in the world...just not of it?"
"Yes, we are, but..."
"You can't shelter your kids too much, we all have to face the world at some point."
"True. but..."

When do you know the line between sheltering or exposing too much? Who wrote the rules that said I need to throw my kids to the wolves/the world if I want them to grow up healthy, normal, socialized and so they won't resent me later or run away screaming at the age of 18?

 I home school my kids. I am that mom, but this is not a post to convince you to do it and I am not going to whine about my rights.

It is just lately, I have felt uneasy. Not because I am second guessing that God called me to do this for my children at the moment, but because my feathers have been ruffled, so to speak (see conversation above). I don't shy away completely from opposing thoughts. However, my mind gets pinched with doubt. I am great at doubting myself which is why I have to be really intentional at getting hard tasks, etc. accomplished. Since this person challenged me, my thoughts have lingered to questioning if it is less about home schooling versus public school (and it is) and more about fear.

See, I want to be somewhere between sheltering and exposing...balancing...That. Can. Wait. You will learn it soon enough coupled with what do you do when? If ? Can my children be polite, but powerful when they need to stand up for themselves or others?
Yet, my greatest desire is the opportunity to preserve the child in my children a bit longer more than seeing how they do when they fall.

 Roll your eyes, but 

it comes from the fact that before the age of 8, I was super-overexposed to  

sex, adult content, very disturbing/scary images and movies. I was abused by family members and friends of my family and I was blamed! Yes, you read that right.

Perhaps, I am only fueled by fear. Sure, I won't deny it. Yes, I am sometimes guilty of being over-protective. Yet, I know I need to loosen the reigns each year as they grow from little boys, to big boys to young men. Both of my sons need to fail, they need to problem solve on their own and think for themselves. They need to be challenged and tempted.

I know it is a trust issue. I was so mistreated that I fear the breaking of 

their hearts and the aftermath that comes with it. How it destroys innocence and trust. 

I need to trust God with them...with me...knowing he gave them to me...He chose me to be their mom and no matter how I may fail them, he will redeem it. His plans and purposes for them will not be thwarted.

Happily linking up here today for some authentic sister hood:

Why I vaccinated my children

I really believe that if my Mamaw (name for my grandma) had the choice to vaccinate my uncle from Polio, she would have, but she didn't have that choice and he died at the age of 5.

Her story is a huge reason that I chose to vaccinate my children...

Have you noticed the new trend to not vaccinate children? Like breastfeeding, our culture is shifting its values. Some people are misinformed and have been lied to about vaccinations.
It is the parent's choice-well, at least for now.
I believe in the freedom our country gives us and the right to choose what is best for the health of our children, but not vaccinating scares me. 

I am not writing this to judge anyone, again-it is your choice. 

However, there are some really important aspects to consider when deciding to vaccinate or not...

1. Vaccinations eradicated small pox and practically banished other deadly diseases from our planet. What a major break through for our world!  

2. If someone from another country comes to ours with measles, mumps, whooping cough, etc. And your child or you are not vaccinated, you both will have a greater chance of getting it!!!

3. Many of those diseases have, can and will take the lives of those who are not protected by vaccines.

4. Vaccines can be spread out through the course of a child's life to make it safer for them and those whose body might not be able to handle so many germs all at once.

To me vaccination is NOT a conspiracy by the government as a way to control us...if any thing, it is a way to protect us! 

Who wants another plague after all?

Silence is Golden

Sing with me if you know the song...

"Silence is golden, golden."

I grew up hearing this song when my mother was chasing away the chaotic atmosphere and again when in that rare occasion-she experienced actual silence. 

She sung it sarcastically when she couldn't fix the crazy times of life. She sung it sincerely with a hint of humor when the house was actually quiet.

Now, I am finding I do the same thing. I have sung the same words to my husband as our two sons are playing louder than a room full of cawing crows. It is hard to converse when they are so noisy. Harder to concentrate. I often long for a moment to speak without interruption or an opportunity to be alone with my thoughts...drift in dream land.

Yet-sometimes the silence scares me. 

 A part of me knows that there will be more silence then I care for when the boys are grown up and leave our home. And I loathed the times when I was by myself with my grieving heart after my mom died 8 years ago.

Perhaps, silence is not always golden.