The Feminine Needs Aisle Scam!

1. Write a blog post in exactly eight lines

Is it wrong that when I strolled down the "Feminine Needs" aisle I was expecting more than pads and tampons?

I was hoping for a massage therapist, chocolate, gourmet coffee, books, my best girlfriends to share in the fortune and the modern Captain America and Thor.

All in one skinny section of the food market.

Of course, that didn't happen. I was so disappointed!

Really, my grocery store should rename the section "Once a month, inconvenient, annoying, embarrassing products for women."

Okay, that would be too long, but would it hurt to just call it what it is for once?

Why kill my desires with deceiving titles?

Just saying!


Linking up today with a fun blogger over at  Mamas Losin It

Silence is Golden

Sing with me if you know the song...

"Silence is golden, golden."

I grew up hearing this song when my mother was chasing away the chaotic atmosphere and again when in that rare occasion-she experienced actual silence. 

She sung it sarcastically when she couldn't fix the crazy times of life. She sung it sincerely with a hint of humor when the house was actually quiet.

Now, I am finding I do the same thing. I have sung the same words to my husband as our two sons are playing louder than a room full of cawing crows. It is hard to converse when they are so noisy. Harder to concentrate. I often long for a moment to speak without interruption or an opportunity to be alone with my thoughts...drift in dream land.

Yet-sometimes the silence scares me. 

 A part of me knows that there will be more silence then I care for when the boys are grown up and leave our home. And I loathed the times when I was by myself with my grieving heart after my mom died 8 years ago.

Perhaps, silence is not always golden.

What a beautiful mess I am...

I wrote this for my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. It is a way to explain the theme of this year and is going in the first newsletter. I had to share what was on my heart...

Dear MOPS Moms,

Our theme, A Beautiful Mess-oh, I can certainly see my messes alright, but isn’t it stretching it a bit to call them beautiful? Doesn’t our theme ring oxymoron?  Can I get a witness?

How about an Mmmm-hmm?

 I mean, cleaning up my son’s potty training accident is anything, but pretty! My life appears more messy than gorgeous with never-ending piles of laundry or dishes, stacks of mail or paperwork to tend to, some kind of food that needs to be bought or chopped or cooked, and well this is only scratching the surface of outside messes. Lest I forget the inside me with untidy relationships, thoughts, and the need to permanently attach post-it notes to my body so my overloaded brain can remember the bazillion details swimming in my head. Not all that attractive, really, but God sees all of this differently! Okay, he isn’t blind to my messes, yet he knows that those messes aren’t the only pieces to who I am. They don’t tell the whole story of me. They just don’t define me…He does. In the bible, God tells me, “I am a masterpiece, created anew to do good works, which he planned for me long ago.” (Emphasis mine) Ephesians 2:10.

I struggle with that sometimes. Struggle to think of myself as a masterpiece because my human limitations tell me I am not good enough. Yet, no matter how crazy, chaotic or downright dirty my story or your story is God sees us as beautiful, God has a plan and if we are open to allowing some scrubbing away of the dirt-it will reveal the precious creation we are. Join me this year and let’s embrace our stain-covered manuscripts.

Part of a painting done with my children for MOPS called, Impression of Parenting. Notice the band-aid and REAL coffee drips and stains as well as the cute hand print.

Here's the full scale version of the painting...a mess alright!

Tell me about a time when you were in a mess and God          showed you the beauty. 

Linking up today with SDG. Go here to join the party! 

When we all need an umbrella

There are times in life when nothing is wrong or going wrong and yet anger or sadness or fill in the blank seeps into the head or heart. A uncontrollable-out of nowhere emotion or thought threaten, but we don't know why. Seriously, it might feel like insanity.
And then there are instances of real grief or trials or problems.

Either way...this is when we all need an umbrella; Something or someone to cover our humanness:

   

An umbrella to protect and never tire,

hope without despair,

courage instead of fear,

comfort and not answers,

sureness in spite of doubt,

encouragement and less criticism.

Moments when we just need someone to listen, understand and care. A two-way, unconditional relationship. If we close our eyes, if we forget who we've been and worry less about appearances, perhaps we won't miss what we long so deeply for: something, someone that satisfies and is everlasting.

     

I have ever only found that something is this someone: Jesus 

Gratefulness, sickness and Free Will isn't an obstacle...

I'm gonna praise God first and then below you will see my Hannah (Biblical Sarah's nemesis) sized temper tantrum after that...

-God healed my friend's Placenta Abruption, but baby will probably be born early because my dear friend is already 3 cm and 90% effaced. Yet, baby is already 4.4 lbs at 32 weeks and healthy thus far. Praise! The Lord is carrying my friend and his creation.

-The Lord helped me finish my MOPS year strong...he continues to deeply change my perspective and patience on how waiting is good, trust shouldn't be an option and that as God is faithful so my faith deeps. Can I get a Hallelujah, amen?

And of course, my veggies are growing, I have two sweet boys, a hubby who treats me well and loves me, a home, and all my true needs met...shouldn't my praise never cease?

So why do I complain below? I am human and I love and care deeply.

NOW for my brattiness ( I don't care if that isn't a word):
                  -Someone in my family has had trouble getting pregnant and no one understands and well, they've told us that they have seen why God has made them wait, but I admit that I understand their struggle and now none of us get why they are waiting (2 years) and possibly longer. I want to see  them blessed with a child and I find my self begging God and teary-eyed for them.

I AM SO OVER SICKNESS and health issues that as I type this I role my eyes and question if I am a sitting duck since hubby has had the flu (one not covered with the vaccine) since Wed. night and I will get to enjoy this misery in a few days? UGH!!! Hubby had a 24 day headache that he just fixed only to be plagued by the flu, but he is in his second year as a teacher (all teachers are nodding in understanding right now).
   Hubby has seriously been sick, some of which was food-induced headaches and nausea since October. Nope, not kidding. Of course, may I add that I got sick and so did my kids over Christmas and it lasted a month for all of us with two of us on antibiotics?

 ********

Then, I realize how powerful prayer is...how life is just hard and why anyone wouldn't hand over at least some of life's hurdles to a loyal, loving God is beyond me. The fact that my friend and family member can still say (despite scary, hard stuff) God is good, still follow him and trust Him shows me that prayer and true faith is powerful. 

Then, I read about the Lord, and somehow, I come to this understanding that I have at times believed that prayer isn't as powerful as I think it is. What a lie! How can I believe that when I have seen 

it's power?

Oh, my heart and head are traders, thieves...

Then, God speaks to me and I admit that I know why I struggle and I feel his grace once again. My brother and dad...they haven't changed...actually my relationship with them and their choices have actually gotten worse, not better. That's it. I see impossible and I fly a kite called, doubt. 

Another whisper:

Free Will is not an obstacle for Me.

Somehow, I forget that although we always have a choice, that doesn't stop God from intervening or pursuing us. Think of Paul, God struck him with blindness (no choice there), but of course Paul had a choice to respond to God (free will). He could have ignored the flash of light on the road to  Damascus. Who says that God won't flash a light or "blind" my brother or father? Why do I limit God as if free will is some wall in God's way? Really, where do I get this false stuff ?

Mark 10:27 says, "With man this is impossible, but not with God, because nothing is impossible for God."

No. Thing. Is. Impossible. For.God!

I feel faith and hope increasing in my head and heart.

  


Linking up with Soli De Gloria. Go to findingheaventoday.com 
and join the party.
     

Tripping Women (3 ways we do and how to stop)

I don't intentionally stick my foot out to trip other women, but it happens. Not on purpose.  Sometimes I am just being me and sometimes it is literally who I am physically that causes another woman to stumble. Or when they brag or I brag or when they share or I share-just a tiny too much...our insecurities and emotions collide until what's leftover is one colossal mess.  Where's the love, huh?
AND we say men are competitive? Um, well, this is hard to admit, but us ladies like to strut
our peacock feathers too (yes, I went there)!

So I write this message today because the more I open myself up to other women, the more I find bruised hearts and elbows needing bandaging. I am discovering how painful it is sometimes to be friends with women and that if we choose, one by one, we can stop tripping each other. We always have a choice.

So here are three ways I think we trip others and what to do instead:

1. Our voice. Ugh, our comments leave much to be desired don't they? Our statements can make another woman feel compelled to duck and cover to survive the verbal vomiting.  Okay, I have been known to let the motor mouth run way, way too much. We need "think before you speak tape" that magically appears when we need to keep our statements to ourselves. It is absolutely okay to not express our opinion and to not tell someone something you shouldn't. Gossip is a killer tripper.

2. Our false and negative assumptions- ANY time we believe something about someone without proof, or getting to know them...well, we've made something true that probably isn't. When we peg people as this way or that, we take away their freedom and ours to be ourselves. For example, we assume a mom is a terrible parent because her child is choosing to have a melt down in the middle of the store. When we assume, we judge and we destroy the essence of relationship. I find that almost 99.9 percent of the time, my beliefs about another person's intentions, what they do or don't eat, lifestyle, parenting, etc. is dead wrong!

3. Comparing- You know the stare down she gives you. You know the "this is how I do it" tone. You know the comments on how little or how much food is on your plate or the "you must exercise everyday" statements. Us women (including me, gulp) are horrible at feeling insecure when a thinner, tighter bummed, perfectly flowing hair woman crosses our path...we can either not let it bother us, or we feel bad about ourselves. We know our man noticed because if he didn't than he must have had something in his eye! This is just a problem ladies. And pretty, thin women are not to blame. Okay, now if you are fortunate to be a "looker" I would kindly appreciate it if you wouldn't display so boldly your uh-hums so that my hubby would trip on them too. Modesty doesn't have to mean old-fashioned moth-ball living.

-Where's the grace and love that this insecure, broken and imperfect world needs? That is the solution to this tripping we all keep doing to one another. My closest friends are my closest friends because they give me SO much grace and love. They let me be me and I let them be them.
   We don't let any green-eyed monsters stand in the way of honest to awesome friendship. Let's face it, us women NEED each other. God created us to love and if we aren't careful about tucking our feet in more often, then we are just hurting others daily-on purpose or not.
     So practicing the art of loving others to me is the best cure for the stumbling we create with each other.

Your thoughts?
What has someone done to cause you to trip? How can you show love today, right now?


Linking up today with Jen and other SDG awesome women at SDG

The problems of defining Christianity...

I find it difficult to define Christianity. I get why those not of the faith get confused and or how we get on their nerves or worse they hate us. Actually, many Christians get on my nerves or shock me.
     Below is my best attempt at defining today's Christianity. My attempt can happen in stages as well. Disclaimer: I am in no way trying to insult anyone or be ugly here. Just wanting to get people thinking. I am sure someone will not enjoy reading this, but sometimes truth hurts.
I have been all of the below at some point in my life. I have been number 4 since around my 25th birthday (I am 38), thank goodness, but hopefully I haven't done too much of what is past that (see below) because that makes me sad and mad at me. So where do you rate?


1. The Seeker: Someone who is neither against God nor for him, but they are still curious and looking for something in life that is different from what they have now. They are at least partially open to checking out the Christian faith.
                                    A. I have to add "Semi-believer" here: Someone who hasn't accepted Christ with some kind of official prayer or coming out or anything, but believes in Christ and likes him, but doesn't understand him, the bible, etc.

2. The Newbie: (some call them Baby Christians, but I think that sounds insulting): Someone who has accepted the Christian faith and accepted Christ in their hearts (numerous reasons why they may choose this) for the first time.

3. Either the Sponge and or instead is the Fire Insurance Agent: Someone who has chosen to go deeper into understanding Christianity, the Lord and such and is more than interested in NOT leaving it at the newbie stage. Often this person chooses and or feels the tug of the Holy Spirit to establish and move into a relationship rather than a religious situation with our God Almighty.  OR...they remain saved by grace and have acquired salvation based on the gospel, but are merely in to avoid what we all call Hell.

A. Again I feel the need to add the "In-Limbo" here: Someone who is almost to number 4 and whom is in-between the two. Kind of a fan of Christ and perhaps afraid or not ready to commit, but not someone who is in it just for fire insurance.

4. Disciple or Follower of Christ: Okay, here is where it can get sticky and one has be careful and not get all judgmental or too into the law (legalistic).
                   This is a difficult stage to write about because unless you get to know someone well, they can claim to be a follower, but really are not. They can be following ideas, theology and rules that are not Biblically correct or sound. PLUS...Christians are not perfect so I feel there is immense pressure on Christians to never mess up or otherwise they really aren't a follower of Christ. With that said, yes, if we know someone well enough and we never see any growth or change in their lives...any, well, we might make assumptions, but if we are followers than like every other human, we are broken and in need of a savior.
    One definition: One who has acknowledged that they sin (make mistakes/bad choices), need a savior, has chosen to accept Christ into their heart, and chooses to daily walk, talk and learn about the Lord...in other words has an authentic relationship with a loving, forgiving, grace-giving,  just and trustworthy God. They usually believe that the Lord loves us as we are (really), but works in us to change us and prepares us to do good works on earth.

Sometimes we have the above and here is where we get into trouble:
      1. We act like Pharisees and get all holier-than-thou and think we have all the answers.
      2. We act like we are God (all-omnipresent and omniscient).
      3. We give horrible answers to others about their questions about God and such.
      4. We give platitudes and quick fixes  (see the three above as to why).
     

And my  LEAST favorite:

5. We push rules and ways of living on others (esp. seekers) rather than loving them where they are!!! Ya know the cliche of love the sinner and hate the sin. We need to practice that hard!

Okay, your turn, what do you think of the above? Be honest, but be kind. 

31 Days to Grace (Day 8): You can never go home

"You can never really go home." 
       This is what I experienced over the weekend and it made me sad. Yet, I also felt hope and peace. Weird to me too. Let me explain.

I drove to where I used to live a year ago and some months to visit friends. This was to be a fun, girl time, hang out trip. Not a learn a lesson trip. A mini-vacation, not some find yourself journey. Well, if ya know me, I am always looking deeper into things. Sometimes it's a curse.

My trip was fun. I did reminisce, laughed hard and enjoyed being with friends. What I couldn't ignore was the nagging truth that once you've been away from a situation, a friendship, a place, interactions aren't the same. Not all is familiar, comfortable and safe. You aren't quite in the loop anymore and it hurts to feel left out.

I was disheartened with this reality. I panicked for a short bit and even felt a tad sorry for me. Then. Grace. Came. 

 God spoke to my soul, "This is no longer your home. This is why it feels foreign. Where I have you is where you are to be."

Yes, Fort Collins is no longer part of God's plans or purposes for me and honestly, I am seriously okay with this truth. I realized how comfortable and complacent I had become while living there...something we all fall into from time to time until something shakes us or literally picks us up and moves us.

Following in His will always leads to a peace and satisfaction that is beyond understanding. I am going to just soak that in...

 

Am I wide enough?

Sometimes  I wonder how wide my world really is...my influence. Not just my obvious "besties" and family and a stranger I know I've encountered and encouraged. But beyond what shows up in a label. How wide is my impact or my love?

Sometimes I know I am keeping me to myself...with each hurt or subtle jab, I flinch and withdraw. I can be good at withdrawing. I scare myself with how well I know I could let go of someone or 
something.

This year, I reached a pivotal point in my relationship with God. A point where I looked back and saw how he stripped me. Not through death or others, but a different kind of loss. A loss of self. And I realize I like the ripping and removing and thirst for more. How I crave for His presence every second. How much more serving Him goes beyond the me that cries and pleads, "You are being persecuted. How can you stand it? What about how you feel?" And I tell me to shush it.

Now, I understand. My influence is only important if it influences for Him. And I want THAT to grow so wide that there's little room for me.


 Linking up with Five-Minute Friday at Lisa-Jo's...http://lisajobaker.com

Writer's Workshop: These things in nature make me smile

These things in nature make me smile...

Okay, they make me laugh too! Like this lazy lizard we took a picture of...I just want to be that Collard Lizard. Ya know, basking in the sun, looking all pretty and not having to worry about sun damage or if I shaved. Ahem.

We took a backpacking trip (before kids) in Rocky Mountain National Park. This is one of my favorite scenes. Glorious!

Crossing bridges over beautiful rivers!

Sweet baby birds sitting on my fence. Don't you just want to hug them?
 

I have always been lucky enough to have nature constantly knock on my back door...okay, some have traipsed into my home without an invitation, but that is a different story for another post. However, my loyalty to letting nature be itself has rewarded me with amusing tales and experiences. So before I share one of my favorites stories, I have to tell you that Hummingbirds make me smile the most.


Don't be fooled by their size (some are only about 3 inches big)! These birds can be ruthless. Little jets ripping thru the air and sword fighting one another. I seriously could watch and chuckle for hours. On occasion, I have been scrutinized by these tiny wonders. Don't worry, I was never injured.

So my story? I saved a Hummingbird.

It was a typical muggy, hot Texas day. He ran into the Dairy Queen window where I was going to get an awesome Oreo Blizzard. He was stunned. I picked him up and for the first time in my life, I was holding a Hummingbird on my hand. Seriously, it felt like NOTHING was on my hand. So light and fragile. So we cooled off inside the Dairy Queen where I was greeted with the wide, curious filled eyes of strangers. You would have thought I was a street performer..."Girl trains her pet Hummer to stay on her thumb." One of the kind DQ workers gave me some Coke. So I nudged the little Hummer gently until it took a teeny sip with its' clear tongue.  He perked up, realized he was on a human hand and freaked out. I did manage to get him outside.

So there ya have it, I am a hero in the Hummingbird world. And I was rewarded with that sweet memory. I am grinning widely as I type this...

Linking up with: http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/blog/

The Clues are Everywhere: Part II (serving and the domino effect)

On July 19th of this year, I began to write about a recurring theme that God keeps sending my way; Something to do with serving, what it is to look like in my life, and how it influences others in a positive way. From sermons, to music, to videos and bible studies, God couldn't say it any louder: Dionne, I want to show you how to really serve me. 

Here are some more insights...

    A few come from this bible study: Designing a Woman's Life by Judith Couchman

--Through our purpose we can influence the world for God's Kingdom.

 

 " 'You are my witnesses,' declares the Lord, 'and my servant who I have chosen." -Isaiah 43:10

Isn't that what I want? In my search for significance, being chosen to do something noble, meaningful and or purposeful? To be spiritually influential? Yes! That is the greatest blessing and a huge privilege of serving the Lord!  To know that if I choose to believe and follow the Lord; that if I open my mind and heart to be changed, redeemed, forgiven, then somehow there is a domino effect.

 Today at church, the sermon was about this very notion. We never know who we are influencing spiritually or how our one decision to obey can lead to others choosing Christ. Others can be encouraged or find hope in our hope: Jesus.  Perhaps over and over?

Yet, can I expect to be spiritually influential if I am not willing to get my hands dirty? Be a bit marginalized? Not thinking poorly of myself, but rightly about me...a sinner saved through Jesus' sacrifice on the cross whom is valuable to him and his service.- Judith Couchman  

 

To lose my life (die to so much self) and serve others with humility, for Christ and NO other gain or reason.

   This is where I hit a wall. Serving isn't about my influence so much as it is about serving Christ. I feel tempted always to make it about me. To feel worthy with the results instead of feeling worthy because I am Jesus' friend, I belong to him, and he chooses me for his glory and purpose!!

Jesus spoke numerous times about serving. He was the fullest embodiment of servant hood. 

He didn't use his equality with God, but rather humbled himself to a horrific death on a cross. (see Phil. 2:6-8). His greatest act of serving was the sacrifice of his life for us!

I am eager to understand and know more about where to serve. God has definitely showed me why and in a way how.

I do serve my hubby and children. I serve my friends. I hope I have inspired them for good and that it is Christ who shines in any attempt I make to point to him.

So where? Hmmm...I will let you know. Please pray for me.

Do you have a where in your life...a place or situation where you are serving? Please share!

Beyond me...

Writing for five minutes on the word: Beyond  (join us at lisajobaker.com)

Beyond the noise of this world my head still reminds me and my heart hurts. I am still grieving. I don't share it much because everyone else finds comfort that I don't cry or speak about it really, but it gnaws on me daily. I miss them. All of them. I miss that place I was planning to call home. I miss my mommy and wish sometimes I could just lay my head on her lap and cry.

Beyond the lies I tell myself or that are hurled at me...beyond the attacks I am entering a new purpose or season or some other overkill phrase to a purpose I absolutely cannot do without the Lord. I am excited and fearful. I know the bible verses. I know the Lord, but I can't shake the belief that I am never going to really reach my potential in Christ. (I know, a total lie, I know!)

I keep talking out into the air...while I walk the neighbors must think I am nuts. But I have to talk to Him and speak honestly and boldly...LOUDLY say,

                                 "Lord, help me because this is more than beyond me."

Why do you call it Raw?

Ya know how one of those pesky-not-so-great memories comes to mind...one that seems to haunt you and you can't shake it? Well, I experienced that today and thanks to it I have blog material. (hehe, take that dumb memory).

To protect the guilty...someone saw my title and said, "Raw Christian huh? Yeah, cause we don't want any cooked Christians." Can you hear the dadadum ching? Okay, it is kind of funny, but it bothered me. Maybe I felt mocked?

So why Raw Christian? This is a two part, not too long of an answer. I am sure the Christian in my title is obvious, right? It isn't a warning that all of my blogs will be sermons or preachy...just identifying a HUGE portion of who I am and explains the general tone of my blog.

Now, why include raw in the title? Well, in 2010, I began the blog and it bore out of my frustration towards people (who will remain nameless) who just were not very real with me during some extremely difficult trials in their life and in mine. I felt betrayed by their indifference and their typical Christian answers that NEVER made anyone feel better.  

I felt compelled to share what God has brought me through in the most sincere and honest way. To not be afraid to be transparent or care so much about what others think. To offer a place where my vulnerability helped others understand that they are not alone. That life with Christ is NOT a guarantee that one won't suffer.

It was my hope that readers could feel like they were hanging out with a friend 

who wasn't judging them for a far from perfect life. Even if they didn't share my beliefs, that they felt accepted and loved.

If you are reading this, I hope you understand that this is my vision and that you are welcome to be you here!

Now part 2 of my answer is quite silly, but again, this is me being me:

     In college, a group of girlfriends and I created a non-official, not recognized underground club called, RAW which is short for Random Acts of Weirdness. We went to a wealthy private school, Texas Christian University and felt that it needed more weirdness in it. So we happily made fools of ourselves JUST to mess with people. 

   One of my favorite acts of weirdness was when we pretended to swim on some carpet in the student center. Yes, we did pretend cannonballs, dives and we even managed to convince a football player to join in. I am sure people thought we were drunk. We weren't! I promise. 

Another fun incident was when several of us rode into the food court reenacting the horse riding antics in Monty Python's Holy Grail. If you haven't seen the movie (I highly recommend it), well they pretend to ride on horses that are not there and a guy hits two coconuts together to make the trotting sound of horses' hooves. IT is not a movie that makes sense. You've been warned! I have to mention that my friend, we will call her "C" even ordered food from the food court for her plant! 

So the reason I included that is because if you don't know me then I have to tell you that I have a very silly, big kid side of me that emerges often without warning. It is random as our club title suggests. I can't help it. My mother is partially to blame, God rest her humorous soul.

 I am guilty of puns, sarcasm, and well just weirdness. I am animated at times and yes, I enjoy doing skits and dramas!

So, there ya have it folks, the real reasons I chose my title. Happy Monday!

Linking up with 

 

Visible (Five Minute Friday: See)

Don't we all just want to be noticed? Visible?

My sweet four year old tugging, begging and in my face to play trains. Sometimes I am too busy, but I really could just stop. See his need for attention, a relationship and time. Love him by doing this one more time even if I just don't get how to crash cars into trains properly.  Do it because I want him to know that through actions such as this...he matters, he is loved, he is my world.

I have sight that God can/will provide if I just trust.

See that this loneliness I am experiencing is temporary. What is visible is love surrounding me. I really am unique, purposeful, and valued just because God made me.

Take those visible truths and live them out.

Challenge: If I could tell the whole world right now this one message:

Recently on a radio station, I overheard a discussion about some college students that were given an interesting assignment. They were asked to post one message for the whole world assuming the world was listening at that very moment. Just one.
Of course, as you can imagine, this assignment created quite a following and a greater response than expected.

You can check it out here. http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/What-Would-Be-Your-One-Message-If-The-Whole-World-Listen-To-You-Right-Now/86694

The responses were all VERY different of course. Some making no sense and some a bit harsh.

I know why this question is so popular. It's because we all have something to say, don't we? Most people want to be heard. Want to be understood. 

Isn't that why we utilize Twitter? Facebook? Isn't it why we blog or write anything? To feel that our thoughts, ourselves matter? I am not unique here. It is the human condition to seek significance.

This Thursday, May 24 will be my 38th birthday and I am feeling okay with my age, but I still struggle with full acceptance of myself. I don't mean accepting all flaws and never working to change self. I mean living out more often than not the belief that I am a work in progress. Loving all parts of me and not berating myself as much.

And well, do I have something that I would like to tell the whole world?

Sure.

A lot of things. But, if my message is too long, I am going to lose people's interest.

Would the world receive it well?

Unsure.

 I would like to tell the whole world this...

                    
In my short lifespan I've come to learn that what really matters is relationships. 

 Genuine, messy, terrible and beautiful all wrapped up. A connection that doesn't dry up when distance separates. One soul extending grace to another when the imperfect shines brightly. Where kinship meets acceptance at the door and feels free to walk through.

Where I give and you give, I mess up and you mess up, where I listen and you listen and somehow no matter what we both come out feeling visible, loved, and known.

And that is what really matters...

        

It is the very basis of my faith. So simple, yet so profound. All that I believe hangs on to the one truth: That I was created by such a loving maker that not only am I loved and significant, but my creator, God, actually wants a relationship with me!

No matter what you believe, don't we all just want to be liked, or loved, or cared about? 

Linking up with:

My One word for the year is an "M" word: Master

MASTER

 

One word can change everything. One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live or what you want to achieve by the end of 2012.

One word that you can focus on every day, all year long. -from (see below)

It usually feels good to have mastered something. To get to a point where cracking another book or memorizing a formula, or just remembering how isn't necessary.  Where it comes naturally.

Then, for some, being the master of this or that breeds confidence or the ugly twin of pride.

Sure, I have mastered some subjects, some hobbies, but what I don't want to be the master of anymore is me--with all of my desires, selfish wants and everything in between.

 I have been the master of me for too long. 
Often controlling all in my life or so I think. I am tired of trying at times to control everyone and everything. Trying to master things I won't or don't need to. Forgetting who I am in Him...who is REALLY in charge.

So, for this year, I want to focus on my Master, the Lord, Jesus. Allowing Him to be master over ALL of my life. To seep into every domain of my heart and head not just some parts of me. 

It isn't that I never serve others or the Lord, but to do it without serving me. To say yes every time, mean it and do it boldly with and for Jesus.

For God is my master and I am His servant. I am His. I was made to serve Him.  I want to serve Him so He gets the glory.


"Bring all who claim me as their God, for I have made them for my glory. It was I who created them."

The "M" word: Migration

It took us three attempts before we found them. There was still no guarantee and we had to trust a woman's message on a post. A woman we never met. They migrate this way every spring. Hundreds of flocks of Sandhill Cranes. 

Okay...if you are not an avid birder like I am than you won't understand my passion or why I light up when I tell others that hubby and I were lucky enough to see the Aplomado Falcon!

You probably really don't get why my blog's title is migration. Really? Who wants to read about that?

Just stick with me...

Back to the cranes...long-necked, gobblers of corn. At, 9 AM, we arrived at Hart's Basin and there had to have been at least 400 Sandhill Cranes, but probably more. They didn't fly away until 10:45 AM. 

They wait patiently for thermals (I am no scientist, but this translates to an upward current of warm air that these birds use to gain height).  Two cranes, literally, decided it was time to catch the wave, er, I mean current. Somehow they knew when it was time to fly North again. Time to gain height because they were going to have to fly over a very large flat-top mountain (around 11,000 ft).

They fly in a circular pattern together while chattering their crane speak the whole time and it is a beautiful loud.

   

But, how do they know when and where to go?

True, after driving the same highway, well, you just know how to go and maybe when the air feels warm it kind of signals them?

 But, how do they know it is time to fly? Does God speak to them the way He speaks to us? Or is it just instinct?

That's where I am struggling right now, knowing when God is asking me to fly or stay put. Knowing that it isn't my thoughts or desires, but His. I'm not alone in this, right?  

I want to be more confident in hearing His voice, not audibly necessary because I know that doesn't happen a lot. But, He says in His word that His sheep (us) know His voice. Do I? I mean I spend time with the Lord daily and I listen as best I can, but sometimes I wonder if my pride or flesh hear things that aren't really there or from Him.

It just makes you feel like a fool and less confident when you get duped by your own self or the enemy.

As I am attempting this year to say yes to God more, I wonder if my lack of hearing is often fear. An excuse to really just say no.  I know if I do get it wrong that I can be forgiven, that God can steer me back to the right path. Thank goodness!

My migration goal: 

I want to be like the Sandhill Cranes, trusting God with the when and the how.


 

The "M" word: March

This month, I decided to focus on one thing. I am looking intensely, well, not that intensely at "m" words since March, you know, starts with the letter m. Did that sound like a Sesame Street lesson? Sorry.

So...my first word is March.

Bed and Breakfast cottage in Durango, Co. Taken in March where it was sunny, but everything is still dead. The house kind of looks like the letter M.

This gal wants to march right into spring. But, I am not in control of that.

Sometimes, I am so selfish and want others to march in my step. "March it, march it." Do it this way. In this timing, like this and now.  I give orders more than requests. I need to stop being a sergeant parent. Say it once, turn your back, walk away.

I think I would like to rock more than march.

Marching is so exhausting. Raise knees up. Not walking, but not really jogging. I'd rather ride my bike in circles than march.

I guess marching is really about order, organization and obedience. Unfortunately, I usually march to my own steps. I am not super organized,  not chaotic, but not properly labeled either. 

Somehow though, I need to march occasionally. Traverse deliberately to what needs to be done. To walk with intention when God says, "Do this." Otherwise, I am wandering aimlessly without direction. Like the flag blowing in my distant neighbor's yard, I would be flapping wildly all over the place. Stride with courage.

Luckily, God is not my drill sergeant, but He is my Lord, my Master. I need to carry out His orders not because He will make me do 100 push-ups, but because I am His servant. I was made by Him and for Him with specific purposes that He chose me to do.

He chose me.

 I was not made to traipse my path in a befuddled state.

So let us March on...

"And whatever you do,

whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus,

giving thanks to God the Father through him."

Colossians 3:17

Notice the green text. ;)

I'm a 1795-1820 gal: Which Fashion Era Would You Want to Have Lived In?

     Sometimes this day and age drives me nuts. Too much social media, internet at the touch of a cell phone, people who should just sew on permanent technology since they can't seem to detach from it anyway. Oh! Did I mention way too much access to dangerous items? I find my self assimilating and resistance is almost futile. I occasionally talk to people while grocery shopping and I fancy texting entirely too much. And...you are reading my blog.
    So I often sit and ponder what my life may have been like if I had lived in a different decade or era altogether. I am a mid 70's-80's child, but I being a young adult during the period from 1795-1820 would've have been interesting. I think I would have fit in nicely.

During this time, fashion had abandoned the stuffy, constricting corset for a more high-waisted, natural figure. A chance to breathe is more like it. The fashion just seemed so freeing, wasn't form-fitting (like skinny jeans...ugh!) other than around the bust and looked utterly comfortable. Kind of like pajamas. Would that not be the best fashion if designers could make everyday wear feel like P.J.s?

Just look at how pretty and cozy this dress is? I can so see myself lounging as she is after

 reading a letter from my beloved hubby or family member.

Other perks? Sure...small pox vaccination, batteries, preserving jars for food, then tin cans, and a patented first soda fountain (carbonated drinks were already invented. Hey, sometimes a Coke hits the spot especially with pizza. There was already a flush toilet, safety locks, and the Cotton Gin...almost forgot the guillotine (yikes). 

Life just seemed simpler, less busy, less pressure with less time wasters.

 Maybe that is true. However, I could have been born poor. (Wait, my family was lower-middle class) Anyhoo, I would've been exiled by the middle to upper class. Marry poor because Jane Austen gave us a glimpse of how class/money ALWAYS matters. Even today. Not so simple after all.

Life then didn't have the modern conveniences of today. Like ovens and microwaves. I BET food tasted better then and well we know it didn't have preservatives.

But, I wasn't meant for that era. God created me for the time period I am in now. A chance to experience a freedom that didn't exist then. Opportunities a woman never would have had in those days.

God wants me to live here. In the present. Saying yes, Lord. I will do that, love that person, forgive or listen to or befriend so and so.

"Yes, I will trust you Lord to hold me when I don't have the strength to hold on."

Below is taken from Lysa TerKeurst's book, When Women Say Yes to God.

"Yes, Lord.I want your patience to invade my desire to fly off the handle."

"Yes, Lord. I want your provision so things don't seem so overwhelming."

Yes, Lord. I will live in the here and now. 

Hey, it ain't all bad. Who knows...maybe among all this social media I can encourage or help someone?

*Some facts were taken from Wikipedia and a 1800 century timeline.