Gratefulness, sickness and Free Will isn't an obstacle...

I'm gonna praise God first and then below you will see my Hannah (Biblical Sarah's nemesis) sized temper tantrum after that...

-God healed my friend's Placenta Abruption, but baby will probably be born early because my dear friend is already 3 cm and 90% effaced. Yet, baby is already 4.4 lbs at 32 weeks and healthy thus far. Praise! The Lord is carrying my friend and his creation.

-The Lord helped me finish my MOPS year strong...he continues to deeply change my perspective and patience on how waiting is good, trust shouldn't be an option and that as God is faithful so my faith deeps. Can I get a Hallelujah, amen?

And of course, my veggies are growing, I have two sweet boys, a hubby who treats me well and loves me, a home, and all my true needs met...shouldn't my praise never cease?

So why do I complain below? I am human and I love and care deeply.

NOW for my brattiness ( I don't care if that isn't a word):
                  -Someone in my family has had trouble getting pregnant and no one understands and well, they've told us that they have seen why God has made them wait, but I admit that I understand their struggle and now none of us get why they are waiting (2 years) and possibly longer. I want to see  them blessed with a child and I find my self begging God and teary-eyed for them.

I AM SO OVER SICKNESS and health issues that as I type this I role my eyes and question if I am a sitting duck since hubby has had the flu (one not covered with the vaccine) since Wed. night and I will get to enjoy this misery in a few days? UGH!!! Hubby had a 24 day headache that he just fixed only to be plagued by the flu, but he is in his second year as a teacher (all teachers are nodding in understanding right now).
   Hubby has seriously been sick, some of which was food-induced headaches and nausea since October. Nope, not kidding. Of course, may I add that I got sick and so did my kids over Christmas and it lasted a month for all of us with two of us on antibiotics?

 ********

Then, I realize how powerful prayer is...how life is just hard and why anyone wouldn't hand over at least some of life's hurdles to a loyal, loving God is beyond me. The fact that my friend and family member can still say (despite scary, hard stuff) God is good, still follow him and trust Him shows me that prayer and true faith is powerful. 

Then, I read about the Lord, and somehow, I come to this understanding that I have at times believed that prayer isn't as powerful as I think it is. What a lie! How can I believe that when I have seen 

it's power?

Oh, my heart and head are traders, thieves...

Then, God speaks to me and I admit that I know why I struggle and I feel his grace once again. My brother and dad...they haven't changed...actually my relationship with them and their choices have actually gotten worse, not better. That's it. I see impossible and I fly a kite called, doubt. 

Another whisper:

Free Will is not an obstacle for Me.

Somehow, I forget that although we always have a choice, that doesn't stop God from intervening or pursuing us. Think of Paul, God struck him with blindness (no choice there), but of course Paul had a choice to respond to God (free will). He could have ignored the flash of light on the road to  Damascus. Who says that God won't flash a light or "blind" my brother or father? Why do I limit God as if free will is some wall in God's way? Really, where do I get this false stuff ?

Mark 10:27 says, "With man this is impossible, but not with God, because nothing is impossible for God."

No. Thing. Is. Impossible. For.God!

I feel faith and hope increasing in my head and heart.

  


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Celebrating victory, when you need a victory...waiting.

She had a placenta tear and bleeding and trauma. Her baby and her in jeopardy. And I prayed almost every day and sometimes twice a day. I prayed for hope, healing, and for protection. A few weeks later,victory: 7cm to 5cm and then the tear gone! A few weeks more...no bleeding. No danger. And my heart is bursting with praise and joy and I want to shout to the world that the Lord hears us. That sometimes he truly DOES heal! That life isn't all about trials. We have triumphs too!

Somehow, even in my joy in this miracle for my friend, I am finding joy in a healing that hasn't occurred. Well, maybe not yet. See, I am waiting for healing for my hubby. I am at the point of begging for mercy, for answers, to not feel lost. We want to quit playing Russian Roulette with his health. It is hard to watch my spouse suffer with headaches, nausea and other discomforts and not know what God is doing, but I still have joy in what God is doing.
   As Eileen Pollinger says in her book, Building Christian Discipline...we look forward expectantly that God will do something. We are holding back from solving the problem ourselves...we don't have a solution anyways.
We are at our weakest: waiting for God to move.  We have done some research and seen doctors with no real hope in those systems. We've talked to friends with similar symptoms and seen God use them.
Perhaps it is wheat intolerance? Some other allergy? We can only ponder and wonder in our waiting.

We are available and ready for when the answer comes and it might not be the answer we hope for, but I feel closer to my husband more than ever. I am exercising and joyfully fulfilling my helpmate role. This is good, so good for our marriage. 

We need a victory and it will come, but oh how hard waiting is, huh?

Your turn: What victory are you celebrating, what victory do you need and are waiting for?

Floss expires, hope doesn't, and Christmas

Standing above my bathroom sink, I attempt ridding my face of the last bit of make-up. Ya know, the mascara that isn't waterproof, but still taunts you with its never-ending streaks of black? I'm not exaggerating, really.
     I begin my not so routine of brushing the yucky of today off my teeth. In the middle of brushing, I just happen to glance over at the floss and read, expires (see below). Wait a minute. Seriously?

I get how milk, meat, veggies, even medicine loses its effectiveness after awhile, but floss?
Someone please explain how floss expires? It's just flat rope that dislodges food and plaque.
What could go bad? Okay, some floss are mint or cinnamon flavored? Do those spices spoil therefore creating an oxymoron here?
   
I think of Wile Coyote and the Road Runner and a frayed rope, unraveling to one tiny string. I laugh as I picture Wile Coyote using it to get to his desired prey when the Road Runner happens to have a pair of scissors and cuts the rope sending the Coyote to his "cartoon" demise.

And I think of the unraveling of the world due to sin and how Satan pulls out his handy scissors to snip hope from others. How different Christmas will be for the families facing such grief in Connecticut. I recoil when I think of sending my child to public school and online schooling is suddenly more attractive.

How the belief meter dwindled quickly for some when they asked,"How can you believe in a God that allowed those innocent children to die? Such a senseless act."  I understand their question, but it hurts to not have an answer. I feel a coldness and it isn't the winter air and my heart aches with compassion. And my prayers sometimes seem feeble, but I still pray because...

Floss may expire, but hope doesn't. God doesn't even if we don't understand what he allows. He gave us all a freedom to choose and we mock that freedom when it causes us pain.
Please don't unfriend (or hate) me for saying that...I've been there. I've mocked it too.

And this is where I will leave this heavy topic alone now.

#

One tradition we have created since our sons were born almost 5 years ago, is to get a new ornament for them, or make one. I usually buy a very inexpensive one for hubby and I, but I just love the idea of having ornaments for my sons and giving it to them on their wedding day. Here are some pictures:

White Glue snowman. Easy and fun.

Your turn.Share a your Christmas traditions with me.

Sharing my heart today with the Soli sisterhood @http://findingheaventoday.blogspot.com/

31 Days to Grace (Day 26): Shut. Up.

 Today is Five Minute Friday where Lisa-Jo 
challenges us to not edit, but just write and not worry about it being perfect.  Go!

Shut Up! Not a nice phrase, but straight to the point.

It is what you say to the voice that doesn't deserve credit or any response. The one that needs to be ignored when you are trying so hard to do your best. When your serving with love and you wonder if only God notices because there isn't much return on the investment.

The voice that lies and creates furrows in your heart as it convinces you that you will never be loved like you want to by your earthly father. That you are the problem.

Whispers of deceit float in your brain and remind you of how your voice isn't heard and does anyone really need to read another blog? Your blog?

The flesh says cruel things. And the enemy even crueler.  And the only way to pop this hallucination of untruth is to tell it,  "SHUT UP" and to kill it with God's truth about you:

- (On serving)
...Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:31-46 NIV

-(We have a heavenly Father)
   "I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime-until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you..." Isaiah 46: 3-4 NLT 

(On my blog and who I really am...)

-For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast. Eph. 2:8-9

I am fearfully and wonderfully made and whatever I do, I do it all for the Lord!

 So Ka-pow to the liar!   :)

(5 minutes to write, 5 minutes to make sure scripture was all legit...a lifetime with the Lord Jesus Christ)! 

6 months? That is....a long time.

6 months. Daunting. No. Freeing.

The challenge: One dessert a week for 6 months. (No sweet drinks, sugary cereals, etc. either)!
The incentive: Cash from a generous, loving donor.
The first thought: What did I just sign up for? No chocolate sans one day?!? Are you kidding me?

 Our sugar challenge started on Jan. 1st and ended on June 30th. There were eight adults doing the challenge. If we cheated, we lost $15 for each cheat. Yes, I cheated 3 times...I wasn't the only one. Hey, willpower is overrated.  

So why am I writing this? To boast? Nope. To encourage and entertain? Hopefully.

Why did I agree to this? For my health and to prove to myself that I could do it.

 Not all challenges are a bad thing.

I was surprised at what I learned. (Plus the benefits)..here goes:

      

My choice really offended others. Somehow people took my choice quite personally. Not just that I wouldn't enjoy a dessert with them, but as if I was convicting them. I did my best to downplay my choice, but it kept surfacing. Some criticized or acted like I was weird or out of my mind. 

      Maybe they were right, but I believe sugar is VERY addictive. Sugar is like a drug..If you don't believe me then think about this...even on the first day off the challenge, I could feel the temptation rising up to return to my old patterns of eating sugar...I wanted to...I haven't and I won't. AND...It takes more than 40 days to break a habit. REALLY.

     FREEDOM!!!! Sugar doesn't have the same hold on me anymore. I found that when I did enjoy a dessert once a week that the more rich the dessert was the less I desired it. It practically made me sick. I discovered that sugar could be conquered, but it still has a strong pull. I found self-control actually existed in this area of my life.  

All eight people passed the challenge, but to me the greater "impossible" mission will be to not go back to how it was. It is easier to not fight what is pleasurable than to realize you are better off without it. NOT that I am trying to convince any of you to bid fair well to sugar forever. Even we are not doing that...we just choose to keep sugar to a very low minimum.  I mean processed, added sugar and desserts, not naturally occurring sugar in fruit or added sugar to food not considered a dessert such as a slice of bread.
                         I can honestly say that I am changed.  Wonder what other habit I should consider breaking in 6 months? Hmmmm.

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