"You can never really go home."
This is what I experienced over the weekend and it made me sad. Yet, I also felt hope and peace. Weird to me too. Let me explain.
I drove to where I used to live a year ago and some months to visit friends. This was to be a fun, girl time, hang out trip. Not a learn a lesson trip. A mini-vacation, not some find yourself journey. Well, if ya know me, I am always looking deeper into things. Sometimes it's a curse.
My trip was fun. I did reminisce, laughed hard and enjoyed being with friends. What I couldn't ignore was the nagging truth that once you've been away from a situation, a friendship, a place, interactions aren't the same. Not all is familiar, comfortable and safe. You aren't quite in the loop anymore and it hurts to feel left out.
I was disheartened with this reality. I panicked for a short bit and even felt a tad sorry for me. Then. Grace. Came.
God spoke to my soul, "This is no longer your home. This is why it feels foreign. Where I have you is where you are to be."
Yes, Fort Collins is no longer part of God's plans or purposes for me and honestly, I am seriously okay with this truth. I realized how comfortable and complacent I had become while living there...something we all fall into from time to time until something shakes us or literally picks us up and moves us.
Following in His will always leads to a peace and satisfaction that is beyond understanding. I am going to just soak that in...