The Feminine Needs Aisle Scam!

1. Write a blog post in exactly eight lines

Is it wrong that when I strolled down the "Feminine Needs" aisle I was expecting more than pads and tampons?

I was hoping for a massage therapist, chocolate, gourmet coffee, books, my best girlfriends to share in the fortune and the modern Captain America and Thor.

All in one skinny section of the food market.

Of course, that didn't happen. I was so disappointed!

Really, my grocery store should rename the section "Once a month, inconvenient, annoying, embarrassing products for women."

Okay, that would be too long, but would it hurt to just call it what it is for once?

Why kill my desires with deceiving titles?

Just saying!


Linking up today with a fun blogger over at  Mamas Losin It

Writer's Workshop...defining emotions in pictures...

Thank goodness for Kat Bouska's Writing Workshop...let's just say my motivation for blog writing lately has been practically zilch.
Want to join the movement? Follow it all @ Mama's Losin It

Prompt #2...Define goodness...joy...sorrow...and anger in pictures I have taken.

Goodness.

Strawberry ice cream popsicle? Goodness.

JOY

Maybe you're thinking how in the world is the below picture joy?

Well...because my house is filled with Star Wars!
Okay, yes that is joyful, but really what brings me joy is the gift of my two sons who just happen to like Star Wars as much as me!

Sorrow

The grass is crying.

All by itself.

A lonely place indeed.

That's how sorrow has been for me, a lonely place.

Anger

"He had it coming."

This really only covers a few of my emotions ya know, but that is another post for another day.

What is more precious than gold?

He tells me to close my eyes. I had just returned from having a woman squeeze my tatas with a vice grip as if she was expecting juice from them. You would think that with today's technology, someone could suggest a kinder way of checking for cancer in my bumps. Next time, I think I will negotiate an ultrasound and cat-scan.  Back to hubby-he hands me a special treat to celebrate my first mammogram. I gasp, then laugh. On a purple plate, two scoops of vanilla ice cream are sandwiched between two graham crackers with slices of strawberries and red hots facing out like headlights. 

Chew on that mental picture...

My youngest son gives me at least thirty pecks on my cheek with a doubly hard hug. Then, he proudly exclaims, "That was the hardest hug-EVER!"

My first born son and I giggle as he gets me with a pillow because he has figured out that this is what you do when you love someone...you can playfully tease. And I adore the banter between us.  

When I was in college, I used my engagement ring as a model for creating a sculpture. My art piece is a thin, three dimensional metal circle with metal prongs holding a white rock so elegantly on a red, crushed-velvet pillow. The ring art symbolized getting married, the commitment and the promise to come.  Yet, it wasn't the diamond or the shiny gold that was valuable. It was what it meant for my future. Now, the ring is a permanent fixture in my life, my garden-like the beauty of vowing to love my husband forever...

Check out the escapee-a metal mouse (top right).

And what is more precious than gold..?  These moments of bliss with my family.

 Prompt#3-a blog inspired by the word gold. 
Linking up today at Mama's Losin It...for a bit of inspirational writing  Go here.

My Valentines through the decades.

Tomorrow, my kids will be attending their first Valentine's Party ever, but not at a public school. It is at the church we attend. They are schooled at home. I always attended either a public or private school, but my family didn't go to church.
    This year, the boys and I made our Valentines for everyone. Good ol' card stock, wax paper and markers! No fancy Pinterest items here, but this idea is not mine...stole it off, you guessed it, the internet. Around 22 kids who are also home schooled will be getting what you see below.

When I was in school (I attended public school), we never made our own Valentine's cards. I remember buying our cards from the nearest grocery store. We were pretty poor, but my mom always managed to find the money to pay for those super impersonal cards and some off brand juice or cookies that we were asked to bring. But, hey, any  excuse to take an hour during school to ridiculously consume too much sugar as a kid was divine.


Gathering inspiration today from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Go here to join!

The Dinosaur...See it again Saturday

Welcome to see an old post/or photo again, Saturday! Enjoy below:

He decided to get into the picture!

Arrrrrrr!

Something Papaw said.

Today, I am using Mama Kat's famous writing prompts to inspire me today. The prompt I chose...

#4 Something your grandfather told you.

 Okay, really Papaw sang this...

And the farmer hauled another load of hay.

When I read the prompt, this little diddy came to my mind. I don't know why. I am not even sure what wisdom, if any lies within these sung words. 

Perhaps, Papaw was warning me that sometimes working involves lots of mundane, do-the-same-thing, Groundhog Day tasks?

Maybe it was an attempt to instill work ethic? Sending subliminal messages that hard work pays off?

That if one grows hay, there will be hay to load?

It is possible that Papaw was promoting support for farmers. Farmers work hard, farmers feed us and farmers should be treated with respect.

Okay, am I stretching it a bit? It is just a song, right? He sang it a lot. The song has stuck in my mind for 35 years...somehow it has impacted me.  Papaw passed away on November 17, 1993. I think this song is just one of many wonderful quirks that keep his memory alive. 

Some other funny sayings from Papaw..."You mother-ape." -(used instead of the curse word), "Come on toots, be there." -(when he wanted a good card hand or roll of the dice), and "Master-burger." -(he meant to order the Whopper, but said this and totally confused the drive-thru cashier).

Last picture taken the summer before my Papaw passed away.

 I miss you Papaw!

 

WANTED: 50 and older because you ARE that important...

If you are 50 and older, I have to tell you how important you are to me...to the world. To those of us currently without our grandparents or mothers (me) or we have a very strained relationship with our dad (me, again).

Perhaps, you don't desire to be a mother, grandparent, etc. to non-family around you, but before you hang up your hat on that, let me tell you how valuable you really are (not including how God sees you which you gotta ask him about that).

There are those of us that need, no-crave your wisdom, insight, affection, heck, even your attention. You possess a stability. Deep down, we know you didn't live the first 50 years without trials! Your strength from having made it through needs to be told. We need those stories of triumph and heartache to inspire and encourage us to keep going.

Most of you are parents and although we don't likely desire unsolicited advice on parenting, we still need your support, we desperately seek your understanding and yes, your free babysitting availability!

Some of us really love that you make getting older seem charming and less scary. When I look at how you handle gray hairs, a few extra pounds or pesky wrinkles-an awe escapes my lips and I breathe a bit easier. Getting old is not the end of life...

I've heard on more than one occasion from you, 

"I loved turning 50. I felt like my life was truly beginning."

I don't know what that means so I need you to explain it. And if your life is truly beginning-does that mean you stop being engaged or involved with youth? With young adults or a 39 year old like me?

Please tell me the answer is no! We need you! We need you...to listen without judgement. To not talk down to us because we aren't where you are at and please don't dismiss us! Okay, some don't show you the respect you so deserve, but don't give up on us. We need your love.

Let me tell you how you impact the world with examples from my experiences...

1. She isn't my grandmother, but my Mamaw was her best friend. She is 80 something, her health is declining and yet, she still  traveled out of state to come meet my children! The gesture alone...as I type this, tears are hanging in my eyes. (Love. Sacrifice).

2. She sees me differently than I thought. She has taught for 25+ years. An amazing, wise, now retired teacher. She told me, "You taught me so much." Huh? How could I teach her? She showed me ways to improve my teaching...surely not the other way around? (Encouragement. Humility).

3. They treated me like their grandchild. They paid for my college bill so I could get a Masters in Education. THEY loved me and even when they had cancer...they asked about me! She stroked my head and hand despite suffering. In pain, she wasn't just thinking about herself.

(Love, truly selfless love. Mercy. Generosity).

4. When my mother died, they swooped in with hugs, open ears and they came to her funeral. They barely knew her. They let me cry even if it made them uncomfortable. They have prayed over me and for me. She has spoken scripture to me more than once. They are there for birthdays and just because moments too. They are amazing in-laws and wonderful grandparents to my children.

 (Hope, kindness, love, compassion, inspiration. Examples of godliness).

5. She is my best friend's mom, but she treats me like I am one of hers. She writes me letters. She tells me I am a good mom. She makes me laugh and she has seen me grow from an awkward middle- schooler to a woman. She loves me. (Acceptance, forgiveness, love and understanding).

6. My home wasn't always safe. Her home was. She offered it. She didn't ask for details or something in return...she just opened her door and heart. (Safety. Comfort. Refuge.).

 Did you catch how prevalent love was in my experiences? 

It is hard to put into words how much these people's actions both verbal or not have meant to me.

If you are 50 and older and reading this-get and stay involved. Know that what you are doing matters. Please serve. Whether that means doing something like vacation Bible school, or Sunday school, watching our kids for a day or more, caring for kids at MOPS, offering your home as a place of safety and refuge for those whose homes aren't safe and or simply just listening.

We need you...really we do! 

And...thank you!

Sharing this post over at Jen's wonderful blog,  Soli De Gloria

A Wordless Wednesday: He decided to get into the picture

Arrrrrrr!

Stupid food, when you cringe and joy.

Anyone else wonder what's up with my title?  It just doesn't go together, right?

I am a multitasking mama-I couldn't quit juggling my thoughts long enough to put one down so I decided to include all three (big, trying to look cute, forgive me grin).

Food is stupid. I mean dealing with food. Stupid. Hubby has migraines and sometimes nausea from a lot of not so whole, fresh food (read any thing unnatural, preservative/MSG lathered and laden). Lest I forget, there's oats, chocolate and beef  that all cause issues. So I broke down and bought a food processor. There's only so much STUPID hand chopping,slicing and dicing to do. Honestly, I love Garlic just not when my hands smell like it. No more teary eyes from cutting onions.  I hear some of you cheering. Now, I do have to say that I still love that I possess Miracle Blades and so cutting one item where I don't need a food processor is lovely.

Sometimes it's the machine's turn to do the dirty work. Hip-hip hooray...it sliced potatoes for baked not fried taters in seriously a matter of seconds! I am thinking that I will experience a new found giddyness before I realize that's what it is...blending my own nut butters or black bean burgers will be practically effortless. 
So all of this figuring out what items in a bag, can or box are acceptable to buy has become a chore and I might go blind from reading the labels. Nonetheless, at least there are some items. My newest hurdle has been what to cook, what to substitute, and well, what to eat. Too bad we can't live on junk mail as there seems to be an endless supply.

*****

OKAY...so you know when you cringe and experience joy simultaneously?..I feel like saying these are mutually exclusive, but I would be lying.

             Speaking in front of groups of people-now there's where I didn't look forward to it and then I did. Huh? I know it doesn't make sense.

Today, I am cringing at the steps, paperwork and plethora of meetings toward getting my first child into a good, safe school. Yet, I am experiencing moments of joy as I feel the Lord holding me. As I feel the effect of trusting Him...where I am not in control and I can't make things happen. Nope, no amount of influencing, planning, or strategic moves is gonna affect where my child goes to school.

Then, I relish in these moments of joy and peace. Knowing that my heart is okay when it feels two emotions at once. Knowing that the Lord who entrusted this first boy to me will protect him as he as always protected me. 

I see the grace. I strongly desire this joy and for the first time in my life, this year, I am understanding God's unspeakable joy...please don't let it end or I will cringe.

What the current contents in my purse say about me...

I was in middle school when I carried my first purse. It was a neutral color with a long shoulder strap and not very big. I didn't carry much: a brush, mirror, coins because I rarely had any cash, Bubblicious Bubble gum (think 80's and blowing big bubbles) and a picture or two.

Ya know that joke where the older you get the bigger your purse gets? Well, in my case, it is more like the older I get the more stuff I haul around in my same-sized, medium purse! I just can't bring myself to buy a bigger purse. And so the purpose of my bag is no longer about feeling grown up or a fashion statement or to hold my driver's license and ya know, tampons. Yes, I used the "T" word.

The contents in my purse as I write this?...

The usual

A wallet, brush with hair-ties, keys, sunglasses, cell phone, a mirror, women stuff, receipts, and lip gloss.

The necessities when I launched my professional career

A pocket calendar, paper pad, pens, breath mints, Tylenol, hand sanitizer, oil blotting paper, lotion coupons/gift cards/ or point cards.

Surprise necessities...around 2007 

1. An Epi-pen for when a wasp or bee decides to sting me.

2. Powdered sunscreen or some organic kinds: My skin is allergic to something in most sunscreens available.

The I wouldn't have ever had this in my purse before kids contents:

     1. Crayons/Activity books-need I say more?

     2. Hand wipes (for sticky moments and the mysterious white crud around my kid's mouths). 

     3. Sugar packets...for those moments when an unhealthy need for a pick up arises, just kidding. The packets were actually for a cup of coffee I had and wanted to sugar it myself so it wasn't so sweet. They are still in there from a week ago.

     4. Tissue- snotty noses and boogers, of course.

     5. Band-Aides

     6. A pacifier (when they were younger) and now? A car or action figure!

     7. My kid's insurance cards/information for the doctor, etc.

     8. Snacks such as granola bars, bananas, or cheese sticks.

     9. Occasionally, a pair of socks, a diaper or gloves have taken a ride.

     10. A "Mona Lisa" flashlight. Yes, you read that right. I am artsy and it was a gift given to help me find items in my purse when it is dark and or to see the lock at my door when it is dark.

UM, now it is actually another toy to entertain the restless natives at the store.

So, as you can see, I am almost prepared for any kid-like or kid-inducing event! The days of the young woman trying to anticipate and be ready for the cute guy or to be efficient at work is long gone.  Enter the super-adapted momma...ready for gunk, stickiness, owies, germs, hubby's headaches, boredom, and hunger pangs. Ka-pow!

Okay, your turn...what do you have in your purse that well, you know you wouldn't have had even a year ago?

   

The likes and dislikes of Ground Hog Day...

Okay, Feb. 2nd. It is just a day, right? Not for me. Let me explain with a list (smile).

What I like about GHD:

1. It is one step closer to spring and warmer temperatures.
2. It is my late mother's birthday
3. A cute rodent is famous because of tradition.
4. Sometimes the said rodent predicts correctly and spring comes early.

5. You can eat too much chocolate and no one thinks that is wrong or weird unless of course a person is uber strict about calories and thinks sugar is evil. Okay, yes, I have proved that one can have a slight addiction to the white stuff, but I will never apologize for having my fair share of chocolate.

6. It is pretty much a neutral month with most people getting President's Day off (bonus)...except for Valentine's Day...which is nice because it is about chocolate and loving someone, but see below for what I don't like about this month. I am torn.


What I dislike about GHD:

1. It is my late mother's birthday. Read, a reminder that she is no longer here to celebrate another year of life.
2. It is one day closer to my birthday (May) which reminds me that although spring is coming, I am no spring chicken. However, I am growing old gracefully, thank you.

3. Valentine's Day-Blah. A day for others to show you they love you...shouldn't we always show others love? It is also a day to waste money on ultra-CHEAPLY made chocolate, silly stuffed animals that know adult really wants, and flowers that die. How depressing. Alright already, I will confess that I am a chocolate snob.
Honestly, my hubby or others should spontaneously win me over with chocolate at least once a month. Okay, I know that sounded selfish. Sorry, just being honest about my chocolate addiction fascination.

4. In most of the U.S. it is still winter (enough said). Sometimes the Ground Hog predicts more winter. Boo!

5. The failure of too lofty goals (some people call them resolutions) has shown up by now.
This is why I don't make them. Instead I take small steps to change me or I plan a reachable goal. For example, I might try exercising an extra day or for 15 minutes more or send one piece of writing to a publisher.
One year, I slowly introduced hubby and I to whole grains and whole wheat. We now eat mostly non-white carbs. Think whole wheat bread, tortillas, multi-grain or wheat noodles, and my personal favorite: whole wheat Jasmine or Basmati rice for my authentic Indian and Thai recipes, Yummy!

6. The lack of sun causes depression, my nails don't grow well and I am getting spring fever BAD!
Did I mention I love spring, summer and fall? Winter is pretty and needed, but it is not my favorite.

SO there ya have it. Your turn. Tell me what you like/dislike about Ground Hog's Day?

31 Days to Grace (Day 18): Playing with my food.

I have this propensity for seeing the odd or possibility in the mundane and the ordinary. I can't help it...it is seriously a "fun" disease. :)

Welcome to my mind, er, vision. Or something like that. See below.

No butter is complete without a face!

 

Booga, booga! Notice the strong resemblance to a Pacific Island influence. Now, I am starting to sound like an art critic. The apple seeds are eyes if you are unsure of what you are looking at!

It's Papaya Man! His seeds make for a great face.

My left over pancake became a bird. I am naming him a Berry-Cream Jay.

So what does this have to do with grace? Nothing really. Accept maybe it made you smile. Maybe that is grace you needed today to remember how much God loves you. I know He loves me and all of my quirkiness.  

Thank you Lord for making me and giving me such grace.

*Linking up with Our Sheltering Tree

31 Days To Grace: (Day 15) Not just a piece of peace

I am not what one would call a pie maker. Okay, pumpkin pie is one I have made and it was more than edible, but it wouldn't win any contests. And I would never be praised for the times I have made humble pie and swam in it. Now, if someone came around with peace pie I would take a slice even though it is tempting to want this pie all to myself. I mean who doesn't like peace?

  I didn't grow up with peace. I never voted to be raised in lots of chaos, but at times that's what it was. I was a shy, meek child who wanted us just to all get along, but yelling, gossiping, worrying and lack of forgiveness abounded in my home.
 My family believed in God, but didn't know His peace. I think they rarely even took a piece of His peace.

Can anyone else relate? When things seem crazy, uncontrollable, or even dangerous...it seems easier to just run in the opposite direction screaming, "The sky is falling! Run!" Or in some cases, to stand ones ground with attitude and fists. But, this is not God's plan for humanity. 

God promises so many times in his word that we are to take refuge in him when life is crazy. He is sovereign or in control of it all. We are to seek him and receive his wisdom when we need direction. We are to rest in His peace.

Moses understood this very well..."Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God and I trust him." Psalm 91:1-2 NLT

When we trust God, we can take more than a piece of peace pie...we can live in peace. We can know peace.  

This is a part of God's grace to us: peace

It is a great gift. Jesus said, "²⁷ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27 NIV

The more times I have handed God control of all parts of my life, the more peace pie I have learned to enjoy. I don't have to wonder if it will be my last piece because there is a great pie maker whose peace pie recipe I can access any time...so I don't have to be stingy.

Your turn...Tell me your thoughts on peace and have you enjoyed peace pie lately? 

Linking up with:http://www.findingheaventoday.com/

31 Days to Grace (Day 11): Pumpkin Humor

Prompt #4: Pumpkins. Anything with pumpkins.
 I am not a green thumb or a brown thumb when it comes to growing plants. I fall somewhere in between...a greenish-brown. When the happy plants arrive at my house, they don't know that there is a 50/50 percent chance that they will cease to exist. 

Before I move on, I have to tell you that I often play with my food or in this case my pumpkins. If your curiosity is killing you, scroll down.

Like a good little gardener, I put two pumpkin seeds into a small container and grew them in the house until the time was right to plant them outside. Then, I placed two, pale yellow (I know, they were close to death) pumpkin plants in the soil in my backyard. I babied them and they lived! They grew, and grew and GREW. Basically, those vines took over half of my garden. Eight pumpkins. I call this success people. See some below:

My plans for the eight pumpkins? Well, at least four will escape my future carving and remain round and orange, but my dear friends, one unsuspecting pumpkin is getting a makeover. I may have scarred him for life. I am sure the other pumpkins will take his lunch money.

Can't you just hear the other pumpkins laughing?

Sometimes grace comes in the form of humor. And I am grateful.

 
 You too can have a fun pumpkin like mine for practically the cost of nothing. Just take two CDs and paint them white and brown. Next, attach them to the pumpkin with hot glue and paint the pumpkin part that shows through the CD holes black. Use black foam for eyebrows or a mustache. Lastly, find some random item from your garage for a weird hat! Voila...you've got yourself an odd pumpkin to entertain the other pumpkins.

Linking up today with Mama Kat at: http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/blog/

 

31 Days to Grace (Day 7): "Schafer"isms

I'm cold. I'm tired. So instead of wallowing in that, I will turn up the house heater or put on a jacket and I will blog about one of my favorite subjects: my comical four year old. 

You are wondering what this has to do with grace? Well, this is grace to me when I feel like a failure as a mom. When I think I am not making an impact. Or When life beats me down...my own child shows me grace and gives me laughter. What a gift...

Let me introduce you to "Schafer"-isms...

These are the funny statements and thoughts from one little person in my life. 

Here are a few of my all time favorites:

"I think the Hulk is green because he ate a lot of pickles."

"I believe in Jesus. He can take me to heaven when he feels like it."

"I am not a mean guy because I don't have a mean suit like the Penguin or Catwoman."

My clever, fun son, Schafer!

"Really, I am sad because I don't have a mustache." (I don't tell him how I will never be sad to not have a mustache).

Sung to the tune of the french song, Frere Jacques (in English, Friar John)  

"Where is Jesus? Where is Jesus? In the air. In the air."

Another kind of oops song and a bit odd is the Farmer and the Dell:

"The farmer takes a life, the farmer takes a life (Supposed to be wife. I know, creepy, but he didn't know what he was saying)."

"You are the best mom I've never seen."  Really...never seen?

Wanting to understand the name of the restaurant, IHOP...out of confusion he said, "Why do you hop?" 

"Look at those big rocks (boulders)! Someone must've hammered them tight so they wouldn't fall."

A Christmas song...cute and um, a messed up version below:

"Deck the halls with boughs of miserable." (I honestly had nothing to do with that).

 

 "In January, I turned into a baby." -As opposed to being born...hehe.

"If you are pretty and smell good mom, then I will marry you."

Some are really hard questions to answer:

 "How come Jesus doesn't make mistakes?"

"Does everyone have God in their hearts?" 

"Where was I before I was born?"

AND my two personal favorites:

"Mom, you are a pretty princess."

"Dear Jesus, I don't want to die to go to heaven so could you please find another way?" 

Do you have any fun quotes from kids you have overheard? Please share!

What are you doing? I am...falling.

Four little pumpkins we did grow, ready before fall, we didn't know.

Okay it is NOT even October 1st and I am already falling. That's my new word for putting out pumpkins, gourds and similar decorations before the typical time. West of the Rocky mountain slope it is still reaching the high 80's during the day, but my mums are bursting flowers. Confusing, I know. I just can't wait. Fall is my second favorite season next to spring. I just love the crisp cool air and leaves. The soups, the apples, the fall colors and clothing. I soak it in. And I can't even put into words my love for pumpkin bread and pie! I could hurt myself on pumpkin bread.

There is something unique to this time of year. Maybe it is the over understood concept of harvest. The idea of new growth ready to be plucked, snipped or pulled from its' lifeline. Maybe it is the fact that I am not stuck in the dreary, cold (but beautiful too) winter...yet.

There is much to harvest. There's new growth in me if I just look hard enough. My growth in Christ is not stunted. If I look back at this year, well I am not the same. These days...I am at home with my two sons, I teach them a letter of the alphabet a week (I call this half homeschooling because I don't if I will ever do whole home school),  and I coordinate a MOPS group i.e., try to realize you can't please everybody while trying to make friends, serve and love on 47 other women!!  I teach an art enrichment class once a week and I realize how much I miss art and sometimes work. I am more patient, more serving and even more forgiving.

I used to worry more about life, money, want more things, cursed a bit more, and I used to care more about what people think...now I know that it is more of a waste of emotion and energy.

The biggest harvest of course is the growth in my relationship with Christ...I went from thinking I could never just say yes to God because it is about obedience to "Yes Lord, I will trust you and I will trust you with me." I never realized how much I wasn't sacrificing and walking in the humiliation of the cross. 

How much I resisted His divine interruptions...now I see them as divine interventions and a chance to be what God has planned for my life, my calling.

Now, I thirst for His presence to be so filled in me as I do my best to die each day.

I am falling...constantly into the grace, the love, the mercy, the safety, and awesomeness of God. Bring on the harvest!

The difference between 28 and 38

There is so much I don't do, um or can't do now that I am 38.
Sometimes I miss the 28 me with no kids, uninterrupted time, conversations whenever, wherever, and the I can leave and go any place on a dime (no worrying about naps, snacks, diapers or if there is a decent restroom nearby)!

PAUSE - deep breath as I ponder the quiet days...

28 me...

 Okay, but who am I kidding? Living in the past is well, so unproductive. Yet, sometimes to move forward in life we have to make peace with that was then and this is now.  So here are the differences between 28 and 38 me. Sort of SPOILER: 38 ain't all bad, I promise!

28: My hubby and I are so in love. I think about him constantly. Can't wait til' he gets home so we can snuggle.
38: I love my husband. I am lucky to have him. I hope he helps me with the boys when he gets home because I could use a break.

28: I always have privacy in the bathroom.
38: My new bathroom theme song?: "I always feel like somebody's watching me."

28: I am more of an admirer of God than a devoted follower. How dare He interfere in my life.
38: I can't do life without you EVER God. Jesus, interfere in my life because you know best and I will mess it up plenty if you don't divinely intervene! Like STAT.

28: I have money to buy things for myself. A lot of life is about me.
38: Do we have money to buy the boys clothes? Chris (hubby), please let me buy you some new under-shirts the holes are really showing now.

28: Sleeping in until 9 am on a Saturday rocks. Wonder what hubby and I will do today?
38: 7:00 am: Hubby and I are awakened by a blue-eyed, long eyelashes boy who says, "Can we play Hide and Seek in your bed?"

28: I am a first year art teacher with a Master's Degree in Education and I make good money when combined with hubby's income.
38: I taught for 9 years and no one REALLY cares how many degrees I have. I am in my second year as a stay-at-home mom and I am still confused on how I got here. Oh, wait, I agreed to obey God, Yeah, forgot about that...

28: I have to give my self time-outs, tell my self no, and "Dionne, if you touch that it will burn you." I feel guilty when I eat too much ice cream.
38: Now, I find my self dishing all of the above to little people that God is trusting me to parent well...and I have parent guilt ALL the time!  Ice cream is not something I feel guilty about any more.

28: Maybe if I am kinder, skinnier, prettier, smarter, make more money, have great style or I am more selfless, then, people will want to be my friend, like me and accept me.
38: To my 28 self, "That's a load of poop! Sorry, my dear, but most people could care less about those things. You only repel or piss them off more if you are better in any way then them.

28: I think I am wise. I talk to myself negatively...my mom is still alive and I take that for granted.
38:  I was so unwise at 28. I talk better to myself...I refuse to listen to the lies. I miss my mom and wish I could cry in her lap while she strokes my hair.

I really do like who I am better at 38 even if life can be more busy and complicated...and yes, my body, mind and face will never be as firm and sharp as it used to be, but it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things...

Give me a minute and it will eventually connect

If you know my hubby he would kindly admit that he married a woman who might be related to the Absent-minded or is it the Nutty Professor? Okay both!

But if you give me a minute, somehow in my brain the reality or answer or whatever will connect. 

And I won't need as much explaining or help unless you start throwing advance math at me then, well, it is like your are speaking Chinese.

Let's just say my problem is details. Too many and my brain gets foggy, confused and you will see the panic in my eyes as I desperately seek a pen and paper. If I write it down it helps. That's just the way God made me. I am a ENFP type or an Otter or Champion Idealist if you are well versed in all those major personality testes floating around. My hubby? Complete opposite.

Yet, somehow, we connect well. Hubby's sharper, elephant brain that my first born has inherited makes up for my head in the clouds, oops, I forgot-even-though you. Told. Me. Two. Seconds. Ago!

We laugh and I love that I have been braver in the past few years about making more fun of myself. That actually my flaws or quirks is what connected us in the first place.

Tell me your "connect" story...
   Linking up for Five-Minutes with lisajobaker.com

Why do you call it Raw?

Ya know how one of those pesky-not-so-great memories comes to mind...one that seems to haunt you and you can't shake it? Well, I experienced that today and thanks to it I have blog material. (hehe, take that dumb memory).

To protect the guilty...someone saw my title and said, "Raw Christian huh? Yeah, cause we don't want any cooked Christians." Can you hear the dadadum ching? Okay, it is kind of funny, but it bothered me. Maybe I felt mocked?

So why Raw Christian? This is a two part, not too long of an answer. I am sure the Christian in my title is obvious, right? It isn't a warning that all of my blogs will be sermons or preachy...just identifying a HUGE portion of who I am and explains the general tone of my blog.

Now, why include raw in the title? Well, in 2010, I began the blog and it bore out of my frustration towards people (who will remain nameless) who just were not very real with me during some extremely difficult trials in their life and in mine. I felt betrayed by their indifference and their typical Christian answers that NEVER made anyone feel better.  

I felt compelled to share what God has brought me through in the most sincere and honest way. To not be afraid to be transparent or care so much about what others think. To offer a place where my vulnerability helped others understand that they are not alone. That life with Christ is NOT a guarantee that one won't suffer.

It was my hope that readers could feel like they were hanging out with a friend 

who wasn't judging them for a far from perfect life. Even if they didn't share my beliefs, that they felt accepted and loved.

If you are reading this, I hope you understand that this is my vision and that you are welcome to be you here!

Now part 2 of my answer is quite silly, but again, this is me being me:

     In college, a group of girlfriends and I created a non-official, not recognized underground club called, RAW which is short for Random Acts of Weirdness. We went to a wealthy private school, Texas Christian University and felt that it needed more weirdness in it. So we happily made fools of ourselves JUST to mess with people. 

   One of my favorite acts of weirdness was when we pretended to swim on some carpet in the student center. Yes, we did pretend cannonballs, dives and we even managed to convince a football player to join in. I am sure people thought we were drunk. We weren't! I promise. 

Another fun incident was when several of us rode into the food court reenacting the horse riding antics in Monty Python's Holy Grail. If you haven't seen the movie (I highly recommend it), well they pretend to ride on horses that are not there and a guy hits two coconuts together to make the trotting sound of horses' hooves. IT is not a movie that makes sense. You've been warned! I have to mention that my friend, we will call her "C" even ordered food from the food court for her plant! 

So the reason I included that is because if you don't know me then I have to tell you that I have a very silly, big kid side of me that emerges often without warning. It is random as our club title suggests. I can't help it. My mother is partially to blame, God rest her humorous soul.

 I am guilty of puns, sarcasm, and well just weirdness. I am animated at times and yes, I enjoy doing skits and dramas!

So, there ya have it folks, the real reasons I chose my title. Happy Monday!

Linking up with 

 

My Brief brush with Jury Duty

I have been summoned three times in my life. Once, I was disqualified. The second time, it was cancelled. Third time? Yep, you guessed it...I had to haul my curious self to the justice center yesterday in the current town I live in: a mix of rural and suburb surrounded by an outdoor playground. See picture below.

 This is what I found in the mail a couple of weeks ago...

Anyone else think it is odd that hubby and I BOTH got summoned a few days a part for different trials? Hubby's was canceled.

A part of me was nervous because serving means commitment, finding someone to watch my children, and experiencing something that some people never do in their lifetime.

So here's how it went...

     After stopping off at a local, drive-thru only coffee shop called, Divine Coffee and ordering my Hazelnut Latte (full of caffeine), I placed my belongings in a container similar to airport security. The security guards were all business until one said, "Enjoy your time." I replied, "I'll try." Huh? Enjoy jury duty? No one I know has ever seemed to speak of it with joy.

So into the jury assembly, I join the sea of other potential victims jurors. I turn in a paper and am rewarded with a plain white sticker reading Juror in bold, black and white letters that must be stuck and seen on my shoulder. One lady explains that this is a five day trial because it is a criminal case. Yikes! 5 days? 

Then, all of us are forced to watch a video about what being a juror will look like and what to expect. It is well organized and reminds me of training videos from my teaching days. My curiosity is peaking. Really, how much do I know about our justice system since I am not in law enforcement,  I'm not a judge or lawyer, and no, I have never been to trial for ANY reason. (Thank goodness, right)?

So this kind lady, she calls out 25 random names and those people get to line up and be the first jury pool to be tested and weeded out. We all go inside the courtroom. I am in the audience. This is the first time I have ever seen a courtroom. It is terribly fascinating to me. I don't think the older woman next to me agrees. She shifts and I understand because EVERYONE but the audience get comfy, plush chairs. We sit our bums on wooden benches for a total of five hours all together. 

The judge is a women and she is HILARIOUS. She actually makes light of what she knows is a tense situation. I think we all appreciated it. We are introduced to the lawyers and the defendant. I think,Whoa, this is for real. This man's verdict could be in my hands. It hits me, hard.  I have mixed emotions because this is a great right I have to be a part of democracy in action, yet, this case is a tough one. 

The questions asked of the jurors relate to knowing witnesses, the lawyers, some state qualifications or disqualifications, hardships and if the jurors have ever been in trial. Some jurors are excused.  We are given almost two hours for lunch/break. At this point, I still can't speak about the case.

     Later, after reconvening, the lawyers get 45 minutes each to ask specific questions to the jurors. The air is a bit more uncomfortable at this point. More of the case in a round about way is revealed. You get a sense of where the lawyers are headed. One more juror is dismissed. At this point, each lawyer gets to excuse 6 jurors each until there are 13 jurors for this case. 

I am never picked. A big part of me is relieved. This was a sexual assault case. The man was being charged with five different counts relating to the victim. The prosecution was filled with the burden of creating a reasonable doubt in the minds of the jury so the verdict would be guilty. The defense attorney didn't have to bring any evidence or give testimony. 

The whole time I left all of it in God's hands. Trusting that He would know if I could be unbiased. If I should be a part of this trial or not. I am thinking He knew best. Now, I will pray for this man and all involved. For justice to prevail whether this man is guilty or not.

How lucky we all are to live in a country where a fair trial is given.