Thoughts on F Words

I warn you that if you do not know me, I use humor to often tackle difficult subjects like this post...

The background 
This coming January, a few women and I have been asked to give a testimony on forgiveness at one of the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) groups where I live. Of course, I've been praying and pondering on how to approach such a sensitive topic.
 Well, my thinking led to how strong emotions erupt when speaking about forgiving and my mind wondered to other "f" words who conjure similar reactions...

The point hopefully
See if this list of F-words make you wince or evoke a bad memory (If you feel nothing, you might be a psychopath. Just saying).

Flab
Fear
Feminine (ugh, right)
Flaw
Frumpy
Failure
Fat
Forgive
Fashion (I grew up wearing 80's clothes)
Fungus
Family
Father
Filthy
Fatigue
Fever
Fumble (including the football term)
Fight
Feeble
Foreign or Foreigner

So how did you do? 

Oh, there's more annoying or negative "f" words. Perhaps you even thought of one I missed, but you get my point. Some of those words are just downright painful for me. See the words in bold.

So this got me wondering if these words alone bother me, does it mean I need work on forgiveness?

No, actually that is a terrible myth. Forgiveness rarely leads to instant restoration of a relationship. Sometimes a relationship has to be severed for safety, but sometimes it is only temporarily. Forgiveness never means that the emotions disappear or even the memories. 

I am no expert so how can I write this to you as truth? I grew up in a hard family with a lot of different kinds of abuse, and that is only the beginning of my journey of extending mercy, forgiveness and grace. I could write a year of blog posts on who or what I have forgiven, but that isn't what I need to share today.

God wants me to share this...forgiveness never ends. It runs deep and overflows daily. It is a choice. And without meaning to sound cliche...it truly frees us of hurt. Frees us from bitterness and resentment. It liberates us to focus on healing, on moving onto what God wants to do in and for us. Yes, sometimes forgiving is super easy, other times near impossible, but only happens when we surrender the hurt, the unfairness, the person or circumstance to God, our Father...the ONLY one who truly understands and experienced the greatest act of pardoning. 

He knows what happened, he has seen what was done, he knows if we were at fault (which leads to natural consequences) and he allowed it to happen whether we were a victim or a perpetrator. 

Yet, the Lord promises deliverance and restoring if we trust him. 

It is worth it, I promise!

Happily linking up today with wonderful sisters in Christ here:

One Word 365 "Weak" update

My word for this year is weak. Mostly a negative word in our society. A label to run away from unless you are choosing humility and obedience to God.
 
Just look at the different meanings for weak...not desirable, huh?

1. Lacking physical strength, energy, or vigor; feeble.

2. Likely to fail under pressure, stress, or strain; lacking resistance: a weak link in a chain.

3. Lacking firmness of character or strength of will.

4. Lacking the proper strength or amount of ingredients: weak coffee.

5. Lacking the ability to function normally or fully: a weak heart.

6. Lacking aptitude or skill: a weak student; weak in math.

7. Lacking or resulting from a lack of intelligence.

8. Lacking persuasiveness; unconvincing: a weak argument.

9. Lacking authority or the power to govern.

10. Lacking potency or intensity: weak sunlight.

Other than #4 or #10...at some point in my life, I have exhibited each of those. I find it easy to admit I am weak when I want hubby or some male to use his God-given-more-muscle-mass for times where I am hard put to open the pickle jar.  

Yet-

Right now, I am weak...defeated in areas where I am needing victory. Areas I can't pour out here because it is too private...areas where I need God's divine intervention-NOW. Okay, I know that sounded demanding, but I can't help it. Is there anything wrong with wanting to see God change you radically sooner rather than later?  And I wonder when or how the victory will come. 

Yes, I feel His grace even as I type these words. And maybe, just maybe, one of these areas is like the thorn that Paul agonized over...the thorn to keep me dependent-no matter what, on God. My brain deliberates this and my heart receives comfort as the Lord delicately reminds me of his unconditional love. Weak in Him is a warm nest under a large wing.

Stupid food, when you cringe and joy.

Anyone else wonder what's up with my title?  It just doesn't go together, right?

I am a multitasking mama-I couldn't quit juggling my thoughts long enough to put one down so I decided to include all three (big, trying to look cute, forgive me grin).

Food is stupid. I mean dealing with food. Stupid. Hubby has migraines and sometimes nausea from a lot of not so whole, fresh food (read any thing unnatural, preservative/MSG lathered and laden). Lest I forget, there's oats, chocolate and beef  that all cause issues. So I broke down and bought a food processor. There's only so much STUPID hand chopping,slicing and dicing to do. Honestly, I love Garlic just not when my hands smell like it. No more teary eyes from cutting onions.  I hear some of you cheering. Now, I do have to say that I still love that I possess Miracle Blades and so cutting one item where I don't need a food processor is lovely.

Sometimes it's the machine's turn to do the dirty work. Hip-hip hooray...it sliced potatoes for baked not fried taters in seriously a matter of seconds! I am thinking that I will experience a new found giddyness before I realize that's what it is...blending my own nut butters or black bean burgers will be practically effortless. 
So all of this figuring out what items in a bag, can or box are acceptable to buy has become a chore and I might go blind from reading the labels. Nonetheless, at least there are some items. My newest hurdle has been what to cook, what to substitute, and well, what to eat. Too bad we can't live on junk mail as there seems to be an endless supply.

*****

OKAY...so you know when you cringe and experience joy simultaneously?..I feel like saying these are mutually exclusive, but I would be lying.

             Speaking in front of groups of people-now there's where I didn't look forward to it and then I did. Huh? I know it doesn't make sense.

Today, I am cringing at the steps, paperwork and plethora of meetings toward getting my first child into a good, safe school. Yet, I am experiencing moments of joy as I feel the Lord holding me. As I feel the effect of trusting Him...where I am not in control and I can't make things happen. Nope, no amount of influencing, planning, or strategic moves is gonna affect where my child goes to school.

Then, I relish in these moments of joy and peace. Knowing that my heart is okay when it feels two emotions at once. Knowing that the Lord who entrusted this first boy to me will protect him as he as always protected me. 

I see the grace. I strongly desire this joy and for the first time in my life, this year, I am understanding God's unspeakable joy...please don't let it end or I will cringe.

God was in the details...A Different Christmas Story #3

I love details. Isn't that what can make a piece of writing come alive? A story more entertaining?

Today is all about details. Very important ones. I am continuing my mini-series...it is coming out of intentionally studying the events, the people, and the details surrounding the birth of Jesus. Just food for thought as the cliche goes...

A detailed-oriented future?

Matthew 1:22-23; 2:3-6,13-23 

Tradition, religion can come on thick. The law too. Faithful ones Pharisee or not followed the law wholeheartedly. The oral stories from generation to generation were not folklore to these folks. So if something was passed down you believed, you hoped and you waited.

 (Mind you, this is my opinion of an ancient people, the Israelites based on my limited understanding from studying scripture).

So even years and years later, the Israelites longed for the Messiah, the Savior spoken of in the prophecies. Down to the specifics kind of prophecy. No hokey-pokey pretend fortune tellers or palm readers kind of prophecy. 

And...it happened. Perfectly predicted and perfectly occurring JUST as God, the God of details said it would. Matthew notes each time (I counted 5) a prophecy is filled. Detail. Micah 5:2,4. Hosea 11:1, Isaiah 6,7, 9:6-7 (personal favorite, 11, 42, 53, and Jeremiah 31:15 all speak of very precise description of how, when, where, who, and what about Jesus. It is so amazing. 

I had to read and reread and it just goes deep. 

When we moved from Fort Collins to Grand Junction, God was in the details. He planned it so perfectly that we sold our home in a miraculous, unheard of fashion...in under two months. We also bought a home at the same time! We even found a home in less than 10 minutes of hubby's new teaching job.  Somehow we came out not owing anything. Clean breaks...because I was forced to quit my job and stay home as God had called me to almost a year ago before the move.

The details? Almost a year and a half later...hubby loves his job. The town is growing on us. We are connected to a church. We still like our neighborhood and home, I like staying home, I feel closer to my children, I coordinate a small group which requires being in front of people and speaking (not my strongest skill) and yet, I have gotten to where I don't feel nervous. I am better at it which is important since my dream is to teach and speak to groups of women.

Before Jesus ever came to be...God wrote history because he knew we would need it. We serve a God who cares to show us that He has it all covered, down to every detail.

Linking up today with:
 www.findingheaventoday.com

A week of Noah (Day 4): Remembered

Answering a thoughtful question from studying Noah in The Women's Devotional Guide to the Bible by Jean E. Syswerda.

The question: "God remembered Noah" (Gen. 8:1)...Do you think God actually forgot Noah, then remembered him? If not, what other meaning could this have? 

No, our all powerful, holy God doesn't forget anyone. But, I wonder if at times Noah was beginning to wonder if the rain would ever stop. I don't know if Noah ever doubted about his situation.

I believe that when the word says, "God remembered Noah" that this was/is all the proof that our Lord keeps his promises! God did not send Noah on a boat and say, "Good luck with that and don't get eaten by any of the animals." Yes, Noah had to be super patient, but eventually the dove came back with signs that the water was receding (an olive branch). The rains did stop.
God remembered...

Just like God didn't ask my family and me to move to our current city and then abandon us. The Lord has held us, walked ahead of us and we have seen his plans unfold day to day and month to month. 

God does not forsake us. In the midst of the greatest suffering I have endured, I have been remembered. So have you. 
I have heard his word, felt his comfort, and seen his mercy. 

When we are His...we are His forever.

A little something to make you smile: