I love last

I've always been last since I was born last, but it wasn't a compliment or benefit in my family.

I was the one picked last for any sport because left-handed batters were a pain and playing sports for me was like asking a whale to walk on land. Not pretty.

Last to know, last to get it in math and last to look like a "woman" in high school. 

Perhaps this post doesn't sound like I love last. 

In reality, I'm rather fond of being last even though I have had plenty of firsts in my life too. It is a piece of who I am. Comfortable sometimes.  I wouldn't change my birth order or inability to hit a home run. I don't hide that higher math gives me a headache.

I love last because that is a piece of who I was made to be. 

Linking up with LisaJo at FMF...a place to write for five minutes freely! Join the party here

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.. - See more at: http://lisajobaker.com/2013/08/five-minute-friday-last/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+thegypsymama+%28thegypsymama%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher#sthash.l1RyXg5b.dpuf

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.. - See more at: http://lisajobaker.com/2013/08/five-minute-friday-last/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+thegypsymama+%28thegypsymama%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher#sthash.l1RyXg5b.dpuf

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.. - See more at: http://lisajobaker.com/2013/08/five-minute-friday-last/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+thegypsymama+%28thegypsymama%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher#sthash.l1RyXg5b.dpuf

Sometimes you gotta interpret the poetry: Everybody has scars

Ever read a poem and think...Huh, what?  Yeah, me too. So with a shameless plug for a poem I wrote...is a blog written and inspired from it.


 Some people have physical scars, but everyone has scars left on their hearts. Evidence of battles for acceptance, significance, truth, love, and being right. Everyone has at least one.  If we are honest, we would like to show off these scars to show the world what we have accomplished. How we got thru those fights, trials, etc.
    Others would say they prefer to hide their blemishes perhaps because they aren't proud of them. They're unsightly and the world mocks you when one is revealed. Most scars are hard to conceal. At some point, one burrows out of the hole we tried to cover it with and peeks out with a resounding, "I won't be squelched!"
     Still some scars are a beautiful reminder of having gave life to a new little being or to another person in great need.


If you are so lucky, you have scars inside and out. (Note sarcasm).
      Like the one below from a childhood accident (okay, so I stupidly listened to my brother and we were jumping from the wooden toy box to our bunk bed. I slipped and fell into a play kitchen made of metal). I think I single-handedly might have helped change toys made from metal to plastic:

My One word for the year is an "M" word: Master

MASTER

 

One word can change everything. One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live or what you want to achieve by the end of 2012.

One word that you can focus on every day, all year long. -from (see below)

It usually feels good to have mastered something. To get to a point where cracking another book or memorizing a formula, or just remembering how isn't necessary.  Where it comes naturally.

Then, for some, being the master of this or that breeds confidence or the ugly twin of pride.

Sure, I have mastered some subjects, some hobbies, but what I don't want to be the master of anymore is me--with all of my desires, selfish wants and everything in between.

 I have been the master of me for too long. 
Often controlling all in my life or so I think. I am tired of trying at times to control everyone and everything. Trying to master things I won't or don't need to. Forgetting who I am in Him...who is REALLY in charge.

So, for this year, I want to focus on my Master, the Lord, Jesus. Allowing Him to be master over ALL of my life. To seep into every domain of my heart and head not just some parts of me. 

It isn't that I never serve others or the Lord, but to do it without serving me. To say yes every time, mean it and do it boldly with and for Jesus.

For God is my master and I am His servant. I am His. I was made to serve Him.  I want to serve Him so He gets the glory.


"Bring all who claim me as their God, for I have made them for my glory. It was I who created them."

The "M" word: Migration

It took us three attempts before we found them. There was still no guarantee and we had to trust a woman's message on a post. A woman we never met. They migrate this way every spring. Hundreds of flocks of Sandhill Cranes. 

Okay...if you are not an avid birder like I am than you won't understand my passion or why I light up when I tell others that hubby and I were lucky enough to see the Aplomado Falcon!

You probably really don't get why my blog's title is migration. Really? Who wants to read about that?

Just stick with me...

Back to the cranes...long-necked, gobblers of corn. At, 9 AM, we arrived at Hart's Basin and there had to have been at least 400 Sandhill Cranes, but probably more. They didn't fly away until 10:45 AM. 

They wait patiently for thermals (I am no scientist, but this translates to an upward current of warm air that these birds use to gain height).  Two cranes, literally, decided it was time to catch the wave, er, I mean current. Somehow they knew when it was time to fly North again. Time to gain height because they were going to have to fly over a very large flat-top mountain (around 11,000 ft).

They fly in a circular pattern together while chattering their crane speak the whole time and it is a beautiful loud.

   

But, how do they know when and where to go?

True, after driving the same highway, well, you just know how to go and maybe when the air feels warm it kind of signals them?

 But, how do they know it is time to fly? Does God speak to them the way He speaks to us? Or is it just instinct?

That's where I am struggling right now, knowing when God is asking me to fly or stay put. Knowing that it isn't my thoughts or desires, but His. I'm not alone in this, right?  

I want to be more confident in hearing His voice, not audibly necessary because I know that doesn't happen a lot. But, He says in His word that His sheep (us) know His voice. Do I? I mean I spend time with the Lord daily and I listen as best I can, but sometimes I wonder if my pride or flesh hear things that aren't really there or from Him.

It just makes you feel like a fool and less confident when you get duped by your own self or the enemy.

As I am attempting this year to say yes to God more, I wonder if my lack of hearing is often fear. An excuse to really just say no.  I know if I do get it wrong that I can be forgiven, that God can steer me back to the right path. Thank goodness!

My migration goal: 

I want to be like the Sandhill Cranes, trusting God with the when and the how.


 

The "M" word: Monument Moment

Andrea, Heather and I at the Monument.

My duo of merry women came to visit me this past weekend. I feel so lucky to have such great friends who would trek the Rocky Mountains to come see me.

They were here to encourage me, but I think we took turns encouraging each other. I made them authentic Indian dishes and we all ate til' it hurt. In that same moment we laughed til' it hurt too. Oh, the joy of girlfriends!

We went to the Colorado National Monument and well...the time there was monumental! No pun intended really. There were occasions of silence, silliness, prayer, even singing! I hadn't seen either of them since October. I realized how much I missed being able to just be me with them.

So...there were bits of tree and rock humor.

A few minutes of Kung-Foo with the sun was necessary at one point. 

Then, Heather and I just needed to JUMP! Might as well Jump...think popular eighties song.

The "M" word: Mission

*I am continuing my self challenge to blog for at least half of this month. I chose "M" words since it is March.

I am on a mission. 

 I want to live in radical obedience to God. To live the not so nice, clean-plated, all is orderly faith. Saying yes to human impossible missions. Doing that which is beyond me, but trusting God when I know He called me to it.

In my life, I feel like I have short-changed God a lot! Out of fear, low self-esteem (you can call that pride), insecurities, lousy excuses and distrust...I have truly been disobedient. Missing out on so many wonderful heavenly assignments. 

Saying no instead of yes. No, I won't sing in the worship group. No, I don't feel like telling that person about you. No, I don't want to do that or it won't work. No way!

Sometimes I forget how much of an honor it is to be chosen by our Lord to do things for Him. Forgetting my place. I was not created for me and all of my selfish pursuits. I was created for Him. You did not choose me, but I chose you to go and produce fruit that will last...John 15:16

God chose Moses to speak to Pharaoh, Jonah to warn Nineveh, David to slay a Giant and become a King, Jesus chose 12 disciples specifically, and God chose Paul to preach to the world in chains.

My mission might be scary, hard, but I am tired of running. Tired of fear holding me back from serving Yahweh Nissi (yah-WEH nis-SEE) or The Lord My Banner. 

The victory has already been won. The Father will not abandon me in the undertaking He has asked of me. 

My humanness is squirming but, then I remember:

"We need not fear what our obedience will cause in our life. We should only fear what our disobedience will cause us to miss." 

-From What Hapens When Women Say Yes to God

-Lisa TerKeurst

Amen.

The "M" word: Matryoshka

He climbed on the brown colored couch to the tip top and reached for the Matryoshka. 

"What is this mommy? Can I play with it?"

"It's a doll. It is special to me so you can't play with it, but

I can show you why it is so important to me." 

We sat down on the couch as I carefully opened the wooden doll. I showed him how there were four hidden dolls inside the main doll. 

His ocean blue eyes widened with delight. He wanted to play and hold each of them. I could identify with his curiosity. 

 My hands gently slid along the painted faces as I admired the uniqueness and craftsmanship. Such imagination. I've always had a fondness for items with hidden compartments. My dresser is like that. Deceitful and crafty. I keep my treasures and knick-knacks concealed above the pajama drawer.  


I do that with God too...keep what I treasure sometimes from Him. Well, it isn't like it is really stashed away where He can't find it.
But, I still hang onto it like it is. 


I am like that doll. Most people only see the main doll and a few get to see maybe three, but only the Lord knows the core (fourth) piece. The real me that sometimes I don't even know exists. 


He knows all the "treasures" that lie inside just dying to be discovered. Yet, out of fear, the ''X" on the map doesn't lead to fortune. 


So I must trust God and quit believing the lie that I can't do it. Or that somehow God couldn't possibly be asking me to do anything special for Him or the world. Perhaps I am and don't even know it because I am too wrapped up in the lie. Or my inabilities.


But...I am more precious than that doll.

God has given each of you a gift from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another." NLT

The "M" word: Mind

Mind: A word of many meanings and phrases. 

You can think you are losing your mind. Sometimes you do. "Mind your own business." You can change your mind. "Do you mind?" "No, I don't mind."  "What's on your mind?" "Mind your manners." Sometimes our mind stutters (affectionately coined as a brain fart). Some of us are said to have more intelligent minds or sharper minds. Often, our minds betray us.

A somewhat invisible trunk of collected and stored thoughts, memories, emotions, perceptions, dreams, imagination, and knowledge. Visible in our behavior and words, but no person can read our mind.

I like to think our mind is never fully complete. Are we not always thinking, learning, reflecting, or remembering?  


If we are Christians, then our minds are like the sign above. With God working to rebuild us from the inside out. God wants to renew our minds, remodel our beliefs, change our attitudes, alter our fleshly thinking so we are more like Him.   

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good, pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2 NLT

I don't know about you, but my mind is resistant to the above and I find it annoying. I know God's plan is always better than my own. I know the benefits of believing God, listening to God, allowing a renewing of self, but self is persuasive. 

It is said, "Until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change, people will always remain the same." -Anonymous

 Reconstruction is painful, a process for which I rarely volunteer for. 

I am always squirming because it is uncomfortable. Just like the phrase above says, change is more painful.

                --But, it is necessary if I am to ever possess peace, hope, and truth. Needed so I can serve the Father properly. 

Being made righteous is how I love my family better, have healthier relationships, serve the Lord, and fulfill the purposes God has planned for me.  It isn't about being perfect. It's more like a second chance. 

Thank you Lord, that I don't have to stay the same. For the grace and "made new" that you offer.

The "M" word: Meek

  I am challenging myself to 15 posts on "M" words. That is about half of a normal month. Wish me luck!

Here is my second "M" word: Meek

Meek isn't weakness. It isn't too submissive or spineless. But, we are told those lies. Especially men. 

Most people seem to look down on meekness.  

I always thought meekness meant a gentle, peaceful spirit. Somewhat true.

BUT...

The man of faith said, "Did you know that meek means to endure injury with patience and without resentment?" (Also found in Merriam Webster's Online Dictionary)

Nope. No I didn't. Whoa! Wait...I haven't done that much in my life. 

Most dictionaries (my own and online) I looked at referred to meek as a spirit without courage. Not strong. Not violent and too submissive.

Okay, being a doormat is no good. However, when did gentleness become negative? Couldn't our world use more gentle spirits?

When did being stoic during tragedy become the norm?  

  We are called to be meek. Humble per say. Not an easy task since pride is our greatest obstacle to those attributes. 

So what does it mean to endure injury with patience and without resentment if it means being no ones' doormat or if it means physical injury or disappointment?

                     

Meekness is when in her own pain, her own cancer, she reached out and stroked my head to comfort me after I lost my mom.

 It is understanding that accidents happen. Physical injuries occur. Seeing it as a chance to slow down. Being thankful that you are still alive. It is usually temporary and healing usually comes.

Knowing that when God doesn't answer a prayer the way you want, it doesn't mean He isn't listening or that He doesn't care.

To love and forgive someone when they injure your feelings by accident.  

It is a humble spirit with gentle action when cut-off in traffic, misunderstood, told bad news.

Meekness is the opposite of control, domination, manipulation and intimidation.

Meekness is not celebrated in this world. It isn't selfish. It isn't all about me.

Jesus was the greatest example of this for He endured the cross without retaliation or resentment. 

He was meek. He was meek for us!   

Let us pray to be more meek.