Stop the platitudes!

    Her response to my concerns for my family solicited a perturbed reaction inside. She is supposedly my friend.  She could have not said anything or "I'm sorry," but instead she slapped my feelings with a neat package of platitudes..."God is faithful, God is with you, try not to worry."

When did what we struggle with equate with struggling with God or our faith?

My struggles right now are not with God or what he can do or whether he is faithful. 

I am simply demonstrating a normal human response of empathy. 

Yes, I am a bit worried. Yes, I don't want those I care about to hear the dreaded, "There's nothing we can do for you." That will be hard on them and hard for me because I care about how this is going to affect them. 

We need to stop the platitudes!! 

 We need to be careful not to convey the message that struggling is not okay or a sign that someone needs to be spiritually rescued.

 In my experience, Christians are the worst at throwing religious statements in the name of God, but these are often inappropriate responses to someones pain, loss, or trial. These platitudes minimize others' concerns or hurt, make assumptions about the state of one's thoughts and feelings and communicate (whether intentional or not) insensitivity. Yes, the statement, God is faithful is very true, but may have nothing to do with what a person is working through.

If we feel uncomfortable supporting someone's battle, then we need to be honest and tell them. We may even need to stay away from them. We need to be careful not to assume anything or say things that will only make a difficult matter worse!

Whatever we choose, we need to practice saying little with sensitivity.

P.S.  Yes, I have forgiven my friend. Yes, I am extending grace. Right now, I am deciding with God's wisdom whether I should tell her how what she did hurt me.

Linking up today with a true sisterhood: http://www.solideogloriasisterhood.com/ 

How to Fight the Pillar of Salt Phenomenon

There's that moment when it comes into my mind's eye...a fleeting memory of regret or sadness at what was lost. I used to reside there for hours without realizing how distracting and crippling this choice was or how it made excuses for me so I could play the victim.
I used to really LIVE in the past and it stole so much from the present. So much.

Around the time I attended college, I became aware of my choice and began to seek God's help...help to move on, desiring for Him to empower me, to heal me from the past, but also to help me forgive myself as well as others.

S-L-O-W-L-Y, I began to release all of the past I had been gripping so hard that my fingers bled, but I was determined to gain victory.

Then, I recently read in the Bible about Lot's wife and how her loyalty seemed divided between the town, Sodom (that God was about to destroy) and the mercy God was giving her family and her by sparing them from this destruction. 

See, she looked back. 

And the cost was her life.

 She became a pillar of salt.

I have been there.  I have looked backed...guilty of what if 's and only if I's. Like Lot's wife, disobedient, content in the familiar and stuck like a salt statue. I call this the Pillar of Salt phenomenon. When my comfort zone is more important than obeying. When I ride the past like a merry-go-round. 

We can fight this. It isn't easy, ya'll! I still have to shoo at the pillar pest and play tug-of-war with my mind and heart.  Christ's death and resurrection was real, is real and we need to start living life based on who we follow (Jesus) and what we believe.  

So, how? No, I am not saying that our past is bad, or not important or that God never uses it for His glory. We need to say no to letting our past choke us.

It ain't simple.  

Some of you really understand that truth. 

Christ's showed us that our past mistakes, broken relationships, etc. ended with His death. Let's walk in freedom one day at a time together!  

You are not alone. PLEASE write in the comments if you would like for me to pray for you and or want to talk more on this. Or go to "contact me" and shoot me an email.

*The inspiration for this post came from the book,Women of the Bible, a one-year devotional study of women in scripture by Ann Spangler and Jean E.Syswerda.

Linking up today at Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood 

I had a Dry Run

I had a dry run of writing so I have not posted since April. So sorry fellow followers. Can you forgive me (said with cute, blink, blink eyeballs)?

I was also busy finishing up home schooling two sweet boys and preparing for summer.

I have been debating back and forth about whether I should continue my blog. I have stories to tell, but I keep waiting for an answer from God...should I share them here or put them in a book to entertain and encourage others?

One of my dreams (coupled with a collection of experiences worth telling) is to either speak about or write these stories. Only to whom? To the masses or to a smaller audience? Besides, who am I? It isn't like my stories are better than most, but they itch in my brain and tug at my heart to not keep them all to myself.

DEAR READER...PLEASE give me your opinion, thoughts, and if God is using you to help me, please share with me. I would greatly appreciate it!!!