Friday, August 17, 2012

Rubberbands can only stretch so far...

I was the white girl on free and reduced lunch who ate peanut butter off a butter knife for a snack. I did my homework by candle light for a couple of days and didn't mind. My parents were divorced. My mother's paycheck barely paid (and sometimes didn't pay) the bills. I didn't even know I fell into the category of white trash girl.
I  just loved my mommy. Ya know blood runs thicker than water...I am blood and I still wanted to belong so bad in my feel like my loyalty to them would pay off one day.
 It never really has.   

I survived being stretched then...even though I didn't even know what that meant...what it would mean later.

I have always been the person who felt like a polka dot among the stripes...out of sorts, out of place and not sure which upholstery would best manufacture a striped me. I have fought hard to create a version others would like and compromised...and it cost me a different kind of stretching. The kind that stings from consequence.

All the while struggling to accept God's whisper, "You are significant because I made you. You are my child. I have better for you. Listen to me, trust me."

Me: "I do God, but I feel I am about to snap or break off...ya know a rubber band can only be pulled so far."

His response in my life has not been to stop stretching me. All the pulling, tugging, rearranging has brought me closer to understanding Him...closer to Him, period.

Linking  up @
Lisa-Jo Baker


  1. I ate peanut butter off the knife, too : ) Still do, when no one is looking. All that past makes you beautiful, sister, and no one can change how God sees you.

  2. Your words ring loudly in my ears: "You are significant because I made you. You are my child. I have better for you. Listen to me, trust me."

    Thank you for sharing such a raw and real post. Bless you, Dionne! God is doing and will continue to do great things in and through you.

    Have a wonderful Friday...

  3. Paragraph one pretty much sums up life at my house growing I know why I relate to your posts so easily!

    Nice write, Dionne.

  4. Oh yes, you are significant. Your life matters to the One who created you. Thank you for being so transparent. I love your 'rawness'!

    Blessings and love,

  5. Dionne, I came by your blog via the 5minute Friday.Your post really speaks to me right now as I feel like a square peg in a round hole and always have. Growing up I felt invisible or looked at to take the brunt of peoples anger/bad moods and occasionally I would get a crumb of positive attention from an odd person on a rare occasion. I am the odd one out in my family and I have tried to change things to no avail. It is so helpful to just realise that others experience something similar. Behind The Smile


Share your thoughts with me. I would love to hear from you.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...