Friday, September 6, 2013

I am a beautiful mess: Part one

I am a mess. I don't always feel beautiful. In fact, if I have no place to go, I don't go out of my way to look beautiful. Ya know, no make-up, hair unwashed or if washed-tucked behind the ears or in a pony tail.

I am a mess-right now! Always, but I don't show it to everyone. Isn't that human? We can't be vulnerable with everyone. Can you imagine how interesting or bizzaro (I know, not a word) our world would be if we walked around being vulnerable with everyone?

IF we shared our REAL story. Chose a little more rawness over reserved? 

I have been trying this for so long now and let me tell you that generally most people DON'T welcome it. They want the abridged version. They don't have time. I can relate.
We really can't hear everyone's deeper story. 

Honestly, I WANT to hear everyone's deeper stories. I am intrigued, inspired
and well, curious. I just don't have time.

AND, God didn't create all of us to be counselors 24/7 and we can't be everything to everyone...though I have been guilty of trying. You know you have tried it too.

So how do we solve this? How do we discern when we should encourage others to share or when we  should go beyond being informed to being more hearing and responding with action to those around us?

What came to my heart was this answer: Are you being selfish or self-less or serving? Hmmm...

I doubt God ever wants us to be selfish. And it isn't about being self-less. It is about less self and serving. I hear this as it coming down to discernment. Praying and listening and trusting God in every relationship and circumstance. It is being hyper-aware of what God is doing in our lives. Is this relationship in our life one where God is asking us to serve Him and them and not ourselves? Or is it one where we need to take caution and NOT share much or only listen?

Oh, you should see the inside of me right now. These thoughts above mixed with my human self look like a bunch of tangled up wires. It is a mess. I don't have it all figured out...this is where the messy part comes you missed it. 

I truly crave deeper is how I was made. Okay, yes, being a woman is part of the deal. 
Anyways, would love to hear your thoughts! So please share.


  1. I love every time you write! I was just talking to a, what I considered, a scorned woman, by fellow Christians when (to them) all of the sudden she had gotten a divorce. To them, it was for no good reason for what she showed on the outside, to the world, was a fine life.

    Can I just say, I KNEW what she was going thru and the judgement placed on her because she was not vulnerable to show what was really going on was almost unbearable in its self.

    But when you are IN it, as you said, that vulnerability is hard when you are trying to protect yourself and those that you love who are in it with you.

    Because she loves Jesus she is healing and that vulnerability that rawness? It's there without choice now. Makes me question....

    1. Thank you for your kind comment. Oh, what you shared about that woman sounds so tough...hard to know. I guess we can't force people to be vulnerable even though as you said, we know that there is more going on inside that what is being shown inside. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

  2. it's important to remember there are seasons of life and we need to know which season we're in so we can know how to respond/react. There are times being selfish or self-less or serving are all appropriate; it takes wisdom and discernment to know how to respond/react when. the good news is, God said ask Him for wisdom and He *would* give it to us. I ask daily.

  3. I totally agree with the curiosity thing and wanting to really hear the deep, raw stuff from really see and feel and know their stories. It makes me excited for heaven...because we'll have forever to do that! It's so hard now to find who and when to be vulnerable with. Like you said, this is where we need to be in tune with the Holy Spirit. And I like how you put, "less self and serving". Amen sister!
    Alesha <3


Share your thoughts with me. I would love to hear from you.

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