I used to be smart...

I used to be um, er,...what's that word? Cute? Perfect? Um,...no...sharp. Yeah, that's it. I think.

 I can't really remember when the phenomenon occurred. One day, perhaps after giving birth to two sons? I am no longer acute. The Grey matter is turning black. 

It seems like the human body is great at multitasking, but in its' attempts to create life, wires get crossed and the babe sucks the intelligent cells right out. (okay, I know that is a stretch).  I know God didn't really design it that way, but I have noticed an anomaly in my thinking, speech, and especially memory since pregnancy.

Okay, okay, yes I am past 35. So maybe middle age is the problem? A smidgen of senility instead?

Ya know it's bad when Post-it notes are your best friend. 

I remember the area of a triangle (A=1/2 the bxh), but the details of what happened 30 minutes ago, well, you can forget it. If it wasn't on a neon paper with  a sticky backing well, it aint sticking.

It has become worse this year since I am not working outside the home. My routine consists of diapers, refereeing, playing, errands, refereeing, teaching, time-outs, making meals, did I mention refereeing? 

Sure, routine should help right? Exercise, vitamins? Yes, I read. I attempt crosswords. I try to engage the brain past the "please don't touch that" and "sit down, it is time for lunch."

What has been the most challenging for my brain are all the hard questions, the gazillion questions my four yr. old asks constantly. Don't get me wrong, I adore his asking. It has been humbling to say, "I don't know." 

Or as a former student of mine would say to me when something was hard, "I got nothing." 

But the prime opportunity for me to creatively explain why God didn't bless someone is a great reminder to me that asking questions is an avenue to understanding. Which leads to knowledge and even better, wisdom.

If I asked more questions, went back to the wide-eyed wondering side, I might feel less dull.

If only I could remember what I wanted to ask. (smile).

So maybe my smarts has declined. But it isn't really gone. Perhaps just on hold so I can divide my brain energy to what really matters right now: my family and God.