Thursday, August 16, 2012

The difference between 28 and 38

There is so much I don't do, um or can't do now that I am 38.
Sometimes I miss the 28 me with no kids, uninterrupted time, conversations whenever, wherever, and the I can leave and go any place on a dime (no worrying about naps, snacks, diapers or if there is a decent restroom nearby)!

PAUSE - deep breath as I ponder the quiet days...

28 me...
 Okay, but who am I kidding? Living in the past is well, so unproductive. Yet, sometimes to move forward in life we have to make peace with that was then and this is now.  So here are the differences between 28 and 38 me. Sort of SPOILER: 38 ain't all bad, I promise!

28: My hubby and I are so in love. I think about him constantly. Can't wait til' he gets home so we can snuggle.
38: I love my husband. I am lucky to have him. I hope he helps me with the boys when he gets home because I could use a break.

28: I always have privacy in the bathroom.
38: My new bathroom theme song?: "I always feel like somebody's watching me."

28: I am more of an admirer of God than a devoted follower. How dare He interfere in my life.
38: I can't do life without you EVER God. Jesus, interfere in my life because you know best and I will mess it up plenty if you don't divinely intervene! Like STAT.

28: I have money to buy things for myself. A lot of life is about me.
38: Do we have money to buy the boys clothes? Chris (hubby), please let me buy you some new under-shirts the holes are really showing now.

28: Sleeping in until 9 am on a Saturday rocks. Wonder what hubby and I will do today?
38: 7:00 am: Hubby and I are awakened by a blue-eyed, long eyelashes boy who says, "Can we play Hide and Seek in your bed?"

28: I am a first year art teacher with a Master's Degree in Education and I make good money when combined with hubby's income.
38: I taught for 9 years and no one REALLY cares how many degrees I have. I am in my second year as a stay-at-home mom and I am still confused on how I got here. Oh, wait, I agreed to obey God, Yeah, forgot about that...

28: I have to give my self time-outs, tell my self no, and "Dionne, if you touch that it will burn you." I feel guilty when I eat too much ice cream.
38: Now, I find my self dishing all of the above to little people that God is trusting me to parent well...and I have parent guilt ALL the time!  Ice cream is not something I feel guilty about any more.

28: Maybe if I am kinder, skinnier, prettier, smarter, make more money, have great style or I am more selfless, then, people will want to be my friend, like me and accept me.
38: To my 28 self, "That's a load of poop! Sorry, my dear, but most people could care less about those things. You only repel or piss them off more if you are better in any way then them.

28: I think I am wise. I talk to myself negatively...my mom is still alive and I take that for granted.
38:  I was so unwise at 28. I talk better to myself...I refuse to listen to the lies. I miss my mom and wish I could cry in her lap while she strokes my hair.

I really do like who I am better at 38 even if life can be more busy and complicated...and yes, my body, mind and face will never be as firm and sharp as it used to be, but it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things...

2 comments:

  1. I had no idea that you were 38! I am 39, and I always feel like an "old" mom at MOPS. Thanks for your encouraging comment today!

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  2. Hmm me at 25...2 kids working in "corporate America" worried about keeping up with the Jones'. Me at 35 pregnant with number 7 being content staying at home and homeschooling my kiddos even if that means we don't take yearly vacations or have designer clothes and get our hair done every week....I definitely like myself better at 35!

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