The most difficult part of his questions are trying to answer him in a way that he can understand. Sometimes I don't know the answer or I find that there isn't an easy way to explain it to him.
What amazes me is his ability to be okay with what I do tell him.
He trusts me.
What about me? Can I be okay with what God tells me?
I want God to say, "She trusts me."
I won't pretend that I trust Him entirely. Heck, I'm human and would be a liar if I said I never worried or doubted what God was doing. I won't deny that I like to have a bit of control and am tempted to do things my way (human foolishness).
BUT...His word clearly states,
My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,
and my ways are far beyond anything you can imagine.
Isaiah 55:8 (NLT)
Yep, ain't that the truth!
I want to begin to share my current story. I have been putting off sharing it with others because it has involved so much faith, patience, perseverance and well, it is still ongoing in my life as I write this so it is quite difficult to express properly in words. Maybe it is the timing as well.
Although, I have been through trials and transitions before, this particular event has truly changed my life and is changing how I view myself and God.
It started last Fall of 2010 when I held a bible study by Priscilla Shirer called, Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted. Two other women joined me. The premise of the study is that when life's disruptions happen as they always do, that you can change your perspective on them. Sometimes those interruptions are from the Lord. Shirer states, "A life interrupted by a holy God is a privilege."
I'll admit that the statement is true, but it is not easy to accept when you are feeling like the poster child. The bible study was the precursor to what lied ahead for me. Even in the first week of the study, the Lord pressed on my heart that I was to let go of my current job and stay home with my children.
I am going to start backwards today. Start at the current end instead of the beginning. I think it will make more sense this way.
Disclaimer: If you live in Grand Junction and are reading this, you might get offended and I am sorry, but I need to speak the truth.
I live in Grand Junction, CO. About 4 months ago, I lived in Fort Collins, CO. My husband got a teaching job here and this is the main reason we had to move.
The hard question I've been asking is, "Lord, why did you bring us here?" This place is so different than Ft. Collins. Ft. Collins is lush, progressive, clean. Grand Junction is more like a desert. Many people walk around with beaver faces, shaved heads and camo for everyday attire. There are a lot of old, broken down homes, fifthly warehouses and junk. There are different values here and the culture is different.
I am used to city or suburban life. Used to an abundance of natural areas, clean, safe parks, and an amazing bike trail that runs through the town of F.C.
I am probably not being fair. I know I sound judgmental. I really am not. I've just experienced a sense of culture shock. I am trying to accept this place as my new home, really.
The hope I am clinging to right now is that the Lord has a plan and purpose for my family. That maybe it is LESS about me and more about the people of GJ.
I know that I have changed. Moving to GJ forced me to make the changes that God is requiring of me: quit your job, stay home, write, teach your little ones, enjoy the lack of stress a job outside the home can bring, and love those I bring to you.
This is my hope. At least I have hope!
Stay tuned (wink, wink) for me to explain more of my story of how we got to GJ. I will do my best to not disappoint...