I just found out I am a Warm Autumn. A what? Well, it is based on my skin's undertones, hair and eye color. I look good in spicy, autumn colors, rich hues of gold, yellows, reds, browns and even forest green. It is supposedly the palette that I should choose when I am shopping for clothes, accessories and even make-up. This revelation has been so liberating. I could shout, "I get me finally!" Okay, maybe that is a bit farfetched, but really it explains why pastels look terrible on me as well as black and white together. I am a Warm Autumn and that just doesn't mesh well with those colors.
I guess a part of me has always known that earthy, fall tones and colors compliment me best, yet I am guilty of really trying to attempt all black or a pastel pink(yes, I was the little girl that thought she would be a ballerina). I ended up looking pasty, dull and somehow out of place.
Ever do that? Find yourself trying to be something you are not? Or, maybe it isn't that...maybe it is just that you are trying to hard to make a label go away?
I am not sure if I will ever accept every part of me-good and flawed or that I will ever stop manipulating things or twisting myself to fit a mold that I think is best. However, God sometimes wants us to step out of our own perspectives. Look beyond what seems impossible or just doesn't seem to fit us.
I am usually pretty good about embracing what I think works for me or is best for me, but when God asks me to do or be something that doesn't come naturally, I think He must be kidding.
The day I realized God was asking me to quit my job and stay at home, I thought He was crazy. I couldn't grasp being at home and being fulfilled by that career shift. I am just plain selfish here. I don't understand it now and I wrestle daily with the Lord about how I am the wrong gal for the job. (I have no patience for kneading dough or as in an earlier blog, cleaning up gross things). I sometimes feel like I'm living some other persons' dream, goal or journey.
God is calling me to do this because He doesn't want any other person for the task. He called Moses to help rescue the Israelites from Egypt, Jonah to speak to Nineveh about repenting, Mary to bear Jesus through a virgin birth. Moses (or Mosette would be my name) questioned his self-worth, capability and he was fearful. Jonah just ran. Mary, oh how I need to respond like her with complete faith and obedience...(sometimes I do).
I am scared of what God has called me to be recently and there are days I have to wonder what He is thinking, but I am gonna hold on...Hey, who knows I might knead bread with a smile. (Doubt it, but one can hope). ;)
Friday, October 21, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
And then there was throw-up...or hope.
On Monday night, my poor three year old was bawling. Sweet hubby ran upstairs while I barely stirred. In my defense, I was exhausted and not feeling so great. As my husband opened the door, he found that Schafer had thrown-up all over the bed. After one more bout, he stopped for the night. I was so sad for him, but will selfishly admit that I was not looking forward to this clean-up, nursing job in the morning.
That morning, I came to his bedroom as he had er, um, let it out the other end all over the bed. I about gagged and I had to say, "Lord, I don't think I can do this." Immediately, I managed to handle it just fine. I was compassionate and made sure he knew that what happened is just a part of life. He never threw up or anything after that and enjoyed a day of pajamas and cartoon videos. LUCKY HIM!
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE SAID THAT? "Lord, I don't think I can do this."
Like when my Mother died, or during both of my labors, when Grant went into the hospital at three weeks old for a horrible case of RSV (nasty little virus) and he could barely breathe. I could barely breathe.
When I lost four people in one year , 2006 and when I realized I would be motherless while becoming a mother. "Lord, I don't think I can do this."
Moving to Grand Junction and the fact that God actually trusted ME to stay at home for this year and watch my two boys! "Lord, I don't think I can do this."
You know what? I CAN'T. That's right. I really cannot do all the hard tasks, trials, errands, and demands that life puts on me.
2 Corinthians 12 Speaks of Paul's thorn (there are many theories as to what this thorn represents)and how he asked the Lord to take it away. But verses 9-10 speak specifically about how the Lord did not take it away because His power is made perfect in weakness. Cleaning up gross things...well, I am weak. It also says, that Paul accepted the Lord's authority, and the hard things because Paul realized that when we are at our weakest we are stronger in God.
We don't have to be able to do it or be strong. We just have to trust Christ through it...that the strength, the ability, the needed change will be there from the Lord Jesus himself. In our weakness, we rely less on ourselves and more on His strength, help and hope.
Oh, and did I mention that my almost two year old played with his poop in the crib?
May the Lord's power be greater in our weaknesses.
That morning, I came to his bedroom as he had er, um, let it out the other end all over the bed. I about gagged and I had to say, "Lord, I don't think I can do this." Immediately, I managed to handle it just fine. I was compassionate and made sure he knew that what happened is just a part of life. He never threw up or anything after that and enjoyed a day of pajamas and cartoon videos. LUCKY HIM!
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE SAID THAT? "Lord, I don't think I can do this."
Like when my Mother died, or during both of my labors, when Grant went into the hospital at three weeks old for a horrible case of RSV (nasty little virus) and he could barely breathe. I could barely breathe.
When I lost four people in one year , 2006 and when I realized I would be motherless while becoming a mother. "Lord, I don't think I can do this."
Moving to Grand Junction and the fact that God actually trusted ME to stay at home for this year and watch my two boys! "Lord, I don't think I can do this."
You know what? I CAN'T. That's right. I really cannot do all the hard tasks, trials, errands, and demands that life puts on me.
2 Corinthians 12 Speaks of Paul's thorn (there are many theories as to what this thorn represents)and how he asked the Lord to take it away. But verses 9-10 speak specifically about how the Lord did not take it away because His power is made perfect in weakness. Cleaning up gross things...well, I am weak. It also says, that Paul accepted the Lord's authority, and the hard things because Paul realized that when we are at our weakest we are stronger in God.
We don't have to be able to do it or be strong. We just have to trust Christ through it...that the strength, the ability, the needed change will be there from the Lord Jesus himself. In our weakness, we rely less on ourselves and more on His strength, help and hope.
Oh, and did I mention that my almost two year old played with his poop in the crib?
May the Lord's power be greater in our weaknesses.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
What's Your Server's Name?
My husband and I went to eat at a local Mexican restaurant. We enjoyed our meal, but when we received our bill we both got tickled as we read that our server's name was Jesus. No, Really! Actually, his name is pronounced "Hey-soos". Now, we are not making fun of this man, his heritage or the Hispanic culture. But, this got me thinking (dangerous, I know).
What if Jesus (the Christ) had really served us that meal? Would we have let Him? I don't know how you feel, but I think I would be uncomfortable maybe even guilty or prideful. Like Peter in John 13:6-8 (When Jesus washed the disciples feet) I would have questioned Jesus' actions and said, "No, you shouldn't be doing that for me."
Jesus replied to Peter by saying, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand...Unless I wash you, you have no part with me." Overzealous, teacher pleasing, prideful Peter basically said, "Then wash all of me!" I can relate.
Jesus was the prime example of a servant! He came to the earth to serve us (save us) for our sake. Whoa! I need to digest that a moment.
God, all powerful, Holy, and all-knowing sent His son out of love to save our souls for eternity (talk about a sacrifice). What a servant!
So am I really serving if I don't sacrifice something? Like Time, energy, my own wants, well you get what I am saying. Most of the time, yes.
I once heard it said that in serving God and others it is not about being selfless, but about bringing less self to the serving. Exactly!
What if Jesus (the Christ) had really served us that meal? Would we have let Him? I don't know how you feel, but I think I would be uncomfortable maybe even guilty or prideful. Like Peter in John 13:6-8 (When Jesus washed the disciples feet) I would have questioned Jesus' actions and said, "No, you shouldn't be doing that for me."
Jesus replied to Peter by saying, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand...Unless I wash you, you have no part with me." Overzealous, teacher pleasing, prideful Peter basically said, "Then wash all of me!" I can relate.
Jesus was the prime example of a servant! He came to the earth to serve us (save us) for our sake. Whoa! I need to digest that a moment.
God, all powerful, Holy, and all-knowing sent His son out of love to save our souls for eternity (talk about a sacrifice). What a servant!
So am I really serving if I don't sacrifice something? Like Time, energy, my own wants, well you get what I am saying. Most of the time, yes.
I once heard it said that in serving God and others it is not about being selfless, but about bringing less self to the serving. Exactly!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
