Celebrating victory, when you need a victory...waiting.

She had a placenta tear and bleeding and trauma. Her baby and her in jeopardy. And I prayed almost every day and sometimes twice a day. I prayed for hope, healing, and for protection. A few weeks later,victory: 7cm to 5cm and then the tear gone! A few weeks more...no bleeding. No danger. And my heart is bursting with praise and joy and I want to shout to the world that the Lord hears us. That sometimes he truly DOES heal! That life isn't all about trials. We have triumphs too!

Somehow, even in my joy in this miracle for my friend, I am finding joy in a healing that hasn't occurred. Well, maybe not yet. See, I am waiting for healing for my hubby. I am at the point of begging for mercy, for answers, to not feel lost. We want to quit playing Russian Roulette with his health. It is hard to watch my spouse suffer with headaches, nausea and other discomforts and not know what God is doing, but I still have joy in what God is doing.
   As Eileen Pollinger says in her book, Building Christian Discipline...we look forward expectantly that God will do something. We are holding back from solving the problem ourselves...we don't have a solution anyways.
We are at our weakest: waiting for God to move.  We have done some research and seen doctors with no real hope in those systems. We've talked to friends with similar symptoms and seen God use them.
Perhaps it is wheat intolerance? Some other allergy? We can only ponder and wonder in our waiting.

We are available and ready for when the answer comes and it might not be the answer we hope for, but I feel closer to my husband more than ever. I am exercising and joyfully fulfilling my helpmate role. This is good, so good for our marriage. 

We need a victory and it will come, but oh how hard waiting is, huh?

Your turn: What victory are you celebrating, what victory do you need and are waiting for?

Easter food for thought...

As different people do different activities on this day, my mind and heart went here:

We are a people who believe in nothing or something. Humanity can choose

devotion to one God or many Gods or no God.

Yet...

the God I am devoted to is the most loyal, loving God I know. How?

He is the only God who ever endured humiliation, betrayal, mocking 

and beating to demonstrate that we are THAT important

to him. Love's a sacrifice and he did that because he wants us to be with him-forever

HAPPY EASTER!

One Word 365 "Weak" update

My word for this year is weak. Mostly a negative word in our society. A label to run away from unless you are choosing humility and obedience to God.
 
Just look at the different meanings for weak...not desirable, huh?

1. Lacking physical strength, energy, or vigor; feeble.

2. Likely to fail under pressure, stress, or strain; lacking resistance: a weak link in a chain.

3. Lacking firmness of character or strength of will.

4. Lacking the proper strength or amount of ingredients: weak coffee.

5. Lacking the ability to function normally or fully: a weak heart.

6. Lacking aptitude or skill: a weak student; weak in math.

7. Lacking or resulting from a lack of intelligence.

8. Lacking persuasiveness; unconvincing: a weak argument.

9. Lacking authority or the power to govern.

10. Lacking potency or intensity: weak sunlight.

Other than #4 or #10...at some point in my life, I have exhibited each of those. I find it easy to admit I am weak when I want hubby or some male to use his God-given-more-muscle-mass for times where I am hard put to open the pickle jar.  

Yet-

Right now, I am weak...defeated in areas where I am needing victory. Areas I can't pour out here because it is too private...areas where I need God's divine intervention-NOW. Okay, I know that sounded demanding, but I can't help it. Is there anything wrong with wanting to see God change you radically sooner rather than later?  And I wonder when or how the victory will come. 

Yes, I feel His grace even as I type these words. And maybe, just maybe, one of these areas is like the thorn that Paul agonized over...the thorn to keep me dependent-no matter what, on God. My brain deliberates this and my heart receives comfort as the Lord delicately reminds me of his unconditional love. Weak in Him is a warm nest under a large wing.